rethink about myself....

Year of dragon.  This is my 4th time to have the year of dragon. 

A long time ago.... someone told me that I need to be careful 36 and 48 year Olds. 

End up, I lost my daughter when I was 36 years old. It was the year of dragon. 

So this year, 48 years old.... that would be something related to my legs.... 

Today I am very unhappy. My husband said I act like 爛仔.  This is the way I live... my attitude is like 爛仔.  Should ibe proud? Bcoz part of MK jai is like that too. 

Being this attitude is how I protect myself. I guess. I just don't know how to face the world without a thing how to protect myself. 

Don't know how to face the world.... maybe I should not face the world anymore. 

I see some people die bcoz of illness. They fight until very last minutes.... but do they want to fight until last? Or they have no choice? 

Some people end their lives... they must have lots of guts in order to do so....I have been asking myself.... do I have guts to do it??? 

I ask myself so many times.... do I have the choice to choose end of live? Do I have lots of guts??? 

一個人一杯飲品，可以俾自己開心點嗎？

原來自己已經有七個月內心無容居所了。

係咪咁差？

每當我要求返娘家食飯，你都黑起面口，係咪屋企真係咁差？係咪咁臭？定係我影衰你？

Still on!!!! Hope you still read them...

Wow!! seriously... didn't have a chance to write on here...

I have another two blogs (actually ... more than 2... but 2 are still active)

http://www.godwalkswithus.blogspot.com (new chapter began in my life)

http://www.godwalkswithlily.blogspot.com (how my mom became a cancer survivor)

I have been reading what I wrote about Boy Jai... ... Honestly, I really want to have a book between Boy Jai and I.

Do you think I will be able to do so?

New Life, New feel

May 7 2011: I got married in Toronto, Canada.

I was happy. I was touched. I was warmed. I was Loved.

I went to Disney Cruise (Disney Wonder) with our immediately families from May 10 - May 17. It was good. Of coz 13 people together in the ship would have some disagreement.

It was the first time that I see Kenneth EXPLOSED!!! He was arguing with his Dad and at that moment, I didn't know what I should do. The only thing I do was going along with Kenneth. He was the one I love. I couldn't see another reason to stay for that dinner but not going with him.

Still... he didn't talk to his Dad yet. *sigh* ... Should be ok soon... I know.

Now... I do have my own Home Sweet Home, but actually I am still trying to adapt myself into my new position, Mrs. Man.

I still miss my old home alot. I miss COOKIE!!! I have to give up my Dog for Kenneth. Kenneth may not think it is important... but people know me... they should know how much I weight my dog. Sometimes do higher than HUMAN!! I should rephase it... They weight HIGHER than human at ALL TIME! Kenneth, I do love you very much.

Times go fast... should treasure where I was and who I was with...

Lost the keys

What should I do....? I lost the car keys....

2 CAR KEYS... DAM!!!

I am in DEEP SHIT!!!

What a week

It had been a very tough week for me. I was super tired as I was running around for my own wedding, my mom, my family and Kenneth's new house...

Have to run. I am super tired...

Japan Earthquake 8.9

This is a very Long day for me.
May 11, 2011. Japan had earthquake 8.9
It was very scary. It was in horrified.

I felt so bad to all Japanese. At the same time, I felt so proud to their engineers, they spent so many years to prevent and eventually, you could see their successes from their buildings. Of coz, NOT EVERY BUILDINGS survived, but somehow it had been stood up still and saved a lot of people.

I don't like watching any Disasters happened. I really don't like anything like this happen. That means... God is showing us TIME is coming soon.
More people dies, bigger part of nature will be destroyed.

Back to the Japan earthquake, one important reason I keep it very closely, Uncle Edmund, Auntie Lanley, Uncle Milton and Auntie Siu Ngan are actually in Japan. I really don't know whether or not they are ok, but there are still a lot of aftershocks. It is very dramatic to what happened, but why? why it happened to my family as well???

I really don't know ... I really don't know ... I can't think of anything... I really can't think of...

I miss you, Uncles and Aunties. Please come home soon. Please....

May 7 2011

Do you like this picture...???

A Prayer

Dear God,

Please help me. Please take away my anger. I always ask myself, being a doctor's daughter, how come I need to worry about money at all time? How come Dad never think all those FREE of CHARGE and FREE DRUG to his relatives indirectly effect us?

Please take away my anger to my relatives and his friends. Those people never think of how the Dr's family like. Never have a peace of mind as every month need to worry where the money should come from when Dad needs to pay off their "FREE OF CHARGE" and FREE DRUG to them, to their friends, even to their maids. THERE IS no free lunch, but how come they have to take advantages from us? Dear God, I am very sorry. I can't stop thinking about it since I was very little. Even the Maids don't need to pay? Dear God... please forgive me to have so much anger inside.

Please take away my weakness point by having trouble in financial issues. Please God... please help me... I am fading out... I am passing out... My Lord, without you, I don't think I can go that far... Please let me know how much you love me. Please let me know what I should do in order to make sure my family is worry free...

My Lord, I love you.

In the name of Jesus Christ, ~Amen.

pieces of life

Wow! so much to do... I mean... I resigned from World Vision Canada.... I am getting FULL gear on all little pieces in my life...

Taking care of Mom
Working on freelance
Working on my wedding....

wow!!!Coollll!!!

percy