new Life

Telling myself how unique I am
Telling myself how special I am
Telling myself how important I am
Telling myself how funny I am
Telling myself how sincere I am
Telling myself how supportive I am
Telling myself how nice I am
Telling myself how good I am



But...


doesn't matter, Myself is not agreed...



First thing I need to do: Love my heavenly father
Second thing I need to do: Love myself like how my father loves me.

so how should I love myself? start from the apperance. start wearing make ups, and do a lot of exercises... as much as possible.

Monday: Gym
Tuesday: Choir
Wednesday: Gym + Swimming
Thursday: Gym
Friday: Scout + Fellowship
Sat: Gym + dogs @ off leash park
Sun: Church + exercise

Wow! what a life. busy life... *sigh* ... doesn't matter how much I want to love myself. I am sure God is teaching me how to do so. He has the Plan.

sleepless night (1)

It's 5:30am.

What the heck? in this sleepless night. what am I thinking?

I am waiting for you to show up in my life, but where are you now?

Oh My~~~!!!! Sleepless nite drives me crazy!
Where are you?
When is the chance I can meet you?
How should I find you? or you are looking for me as well?
Dam!!! It's 5:45am... can't believe I am still awake. I have a long day tomorrow...

Not miss you anymore. I have changed...

When I already went to the bottom of the hopeless valley. I had no more emotion towards anything related to you.
When I already dwelled myself, I became speechless.
When I already missed you too much, I also learned how NOT to miss you that much.

I realized that I got used to the lonely feeling.
I realized that I still have a little bit dignity inside me.
I realized that I couldn't have a chance to be your gal.

Then, why bother? why so serious?

But..


I am a very serious person. I will not treat relationship as "GAME". There will not have any secret. Anyway, I will give you a call, Lord. I have no more energy physically and mentally.

Anyway, talke to you later... very late...

Think Great Thoughts..

Think Great Thoughts:
True --> "Is this True"?
Honorable --> "Does this honr God and reflect his purposes for me?"
Right --> "Is this right or wrong?"
Pure --> "Am I thinking on things that are pure and holy?"
Lovely --> "Is my mind filled with beauty?"
Of good repute --> "are these thoughts fit for God's hearing?"
Anyting of excellence and worthy of praise --> "Anything that has moral excellence, motivates us to godly behavior, or encourages others to walk with God?"

Learning to think great thoughs is a constant lifelong process:
Think great thoughts about God
Think great thoughts about yourself
Think great thoughts about others
Think great thoughts about life
Think great thoughts about the future
Think great thoughts about the past
Think great thoughts about challenges

What do you think? Good that I am reading this.... Good good...

Percy, Go Go Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Power of Patience...

I don't want to drive this morning due to the pain from the back. called in to explain that I will work at home.

I did my devotion this morning, the title was "The power of Patience".
Galatians 5:16-24

Why is it that patience evaporates when we are late for a critical engagement?

"Being forced to wait ratchets up the stress and shortens our fuse. When that happens, we not only fail to be patient but we undercut the Spirit's work in our lives."

God is a patient God. When we abandon patience we miss the opportunity to show our world the glory of God through our lives.

I am learning... I am trying...

messy blog writings... will change soon! (hopefully)

I am very Sorry. I have been so messed up in the past months. Hope I will be able to write something better in the future. Sorry... Sorry.

So many things are in my head now... Just let me curl my hair for awhile. I will be able to think of something later on. Please wait... if you ever can think of something want to ask me... please leave me a message... Go Go Go!!!! =)

Unsure obstacles...

I am very unsure about what is ahead. I can't see the end... seems so difficult to reach the end point. I am trying to look further... still... I am scared... I don't know what is coming from the front... I am trying to tell myself, "NOT TO BE AFRAID!", but how?

I don't know how to deal with the upcoming obstacles... I am not good at facing the challenges... I guess I am just too coward to do so...

But, yeah... no matter how much I don't want to, I still have to go for the way.

I can't be afraid, bcoz I don't have a chance.

I can't be cried, bcoz a lot of people are following me.

Am I on the boat alone?

Am I preparing what I need?

Am I being brave enough to handle what is coming up?

I am confused. I am lost.

PS: BUT, Don't think too much! Never promise the road is smooth! need to go over the rough part in order to sharpen myself!!!!! Go Go Go!!!!

Feeling of you = different types of tea...

When I meet you, I feel like I am drinking a big glass of original bubble tea.

Big = can drink longer;

cold = feeling so good and summer;

tapioca = some excitments from the original drink

Don't need anything fancy, but keep the original so I can keep the memories as simple as possible.

When I see you with other gals, I am feeling of a bottle of red wine.

Red Wine: not everyone likes it. not everyone can have it. It tastes a bit bitter, but also some sweet in it. Can't drink fast, take it slowly, one sip at a time... Also, don't put any anger while tasting the wine. the more anger you have, the bitter you will get. Take it as a challenge. If you are the wine person, no matter how bad it is, it's yours.

When I think of you without you physicallyt. I am feeling I am drinking normal tea.

It tastes bitter, but nothing can compare with this original taste.

Even I have bitter feeling when I see you with other gals, I am still happy to see you. I mean I really happy to see you. I am feeling that I am drinking a pot of sweet tea chinese tea.

It's warm. It's sweet and it's something I am training myself. Learning how to find the happiness in the bitter period.

Please take a look at me. I am here!! I am here... watching you, looking at you and observing you... Please don't judge me by my apperance only? please take a look at inside me. I can't be changed bcoz of you, but I would like to see if we have a chance or not.

Take care of yourself. I am worried about you.

I miss you...

Drink doesn't change the fact...

I need a drink. A drink which can cool me down from the anger. A drink which can take off my unhappy mindset. This drink is actually a confrontation drink. After I drank tihs botth, I felt so dizzy... ...
To be honest, I don't really wanna cry. Especially with such GREAT firends. Tears made me update.
I do feel so tired... physicalloy and metnally???

Stoneman was being lonely and sitting on the rock. I felt so pitty about it.

The View of LIFE

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Love the ones who don't just because you can.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

Kiss slowly.

Forgive quickly.

God never said life would be easy.

He just promised it would be worth it.

My heart is torning apart...

Dear God,
Over the weekend, you keep telling me that I have to learn how to love you, and how to love myself, then I will know how to love. My heavenly father, how long do I need to wait? Please forgive me that I don't know how to love you, and love myself. I just don't have the motive to do so. Please let me know, my LORD.

I am very sad that I like him, but he doesn't like me. It is a typical result. I am trying NOT to accept the truth, but the fact is he doesn't even look at me. He keeps the distance with me. He is away from me. He just doesn't know I am existing. My LORD, you told me that I have to find a Christian. He is not yet, but even he is... he will go for what he is looking for and ignoring me. That is sad. That is heart breaking...

I was looking at the lake in Killarney. It was still water with some ripples. I tried to quiet all down for you. I wanted to listen to you, but my heart was torning apart and I just couldn't help to listen to you carefully. Please forgive me. I believe you are healing me. Whenever I felt upset, you sent angels around me.

When will my "he" come to me? Is he even existed? Maybe you want me to have single life? My heavenly father, I am struggling... I am curious and uncertainty. Am I really this bad that no one even look at me once?

My Lord, please help me. please give me advise on such silly thing. Should I give him up? or should I keep waiting? maybe end up he is not the one... right? I am sad... you know how picky I am. I don't wanna wait. I don't wanna WAIT.... please forgive my stupidty. I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ. ~Amen.

My Heavenly Father, please lead me...

孩子：我的天父，可否讓我好好地談戀愛？

孩子：不再流淚，不再傷痛，不再聚合又要分開？

孩子：我的天父，我只想要安穩地找個人來愛，

孩子：請讓我知道，那個人在不在？

天父：我的孩子，難道您忘記了我就是愛？

天父：學懂愛我，學懂愛您自己，您就懂好好戀愛。

天父：我的孩子，何不嘗試安靜的慢慢去等待。

天父：您就會知道，那個人在不在。

天父：您是否願意相信，每時每刻都在我手裡，

孩子：願意相信，

合：沒有事情是太早或是太遲。

天父：願意相信，

孩子：愛我的主，我願意相信，萬事萬物都在的手裡 ，

天父：我教您順服，我的旨意。 孩子：請教我順服，你的旨意。

What about my "SMILE"?

Being a friend, you don't need to say a lot. By using body langauge shows a lot of stuffs.

When I look at this picture, intensionally, I like the way I look. Especially the way I "Smile".

Do you know what was I thinking? heheheehe! let me know. send me the email. -)


PS: this is my friend, Pedro with the cartoon look.

... ... ...

I am being so shy when I see you.

I am being so happy when I meet you.

You may know how I feel, but to be honest, I am so scared that you reject me.

I am afraid to lose a friend, but I cross my finger to have you by God.

How come just be friend to me??
How come just be nice to me??

An Encouragement Message! Please read!

I have been praying to God for guidiance. How to handle my manager? How to communicate with my leader? How to balance the work and my life? I have been struggle on something that I can't handle. I keep asking God whether HE will be able to let me know what my next step is.

Then, I received an email from Sandy. Please take a look at the following:
PS: SanSan, I am very appreciated about it. God was talking to me thru your email. Love you always, San!

If you think you are unhappy, look at them

If you think your salary is low, how about her?

If your society is unfair to you, how about her?
If you complain about your transport system, how about them?
If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?
When you feel like giving up, think of this man
If you think you don't have many friends...

Enjoy life how it is and as it comes Things are worse for others and is a lot better for us. There are many things in your life that will catch your eye but only a few will catch your heart....pursue those...

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowlege him and he will make straight your paths. PROVERBS 3:5-6

Take it easy and be a happy gal!!!!