Don't ask me, because I really don't know the reason. I only remembered that I was very sad, very depressed. It seemed like I had so much stresses around me. I knew that I was getting depression again. I was scared. I didn't know what I could do...
second day, my mood got worse. I was very upset about the stress I had. I called King to tell him how much I was not happy. I started to cry. I couldn't stop. I guessed I totally out of control. I told myself inside that I should kept clear minded. I knew that I was losing it. I was scared... I sat down on the floor and cried really hard.... All of a sudden, I had the thought about how to kill myself and let me tell you it was not fun. Beside the thought I had, I also planned what my family needed to do for my funeral. How crazy I was, how scary it would be if it actually happened. I was scared....
I went to see Dr. the following morning. Dr. gave me 2 choices. One was going to emergency room myself, or she would call cop to take me there. I asked for the third choice, she asked me to make sure I was not living alone (someone supervises me) and started taking pills. I wanted to get help too. However, I took the anti-depression pill and start to ask Ka Ho to stay with me. I still not happy, but at least .... I started to calm myself from crying.
Hope I will get better. I am going to see Doctor again... I really don't like "Depression"...
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