I never think that is the matter, but I think it does. I start to care about who I call and who will call me. I think one of the reasons I feel lonely is that I am waiting for my friends to call me. Thinking about who will think of me and call me.

I have a lot of phone numbers in my phone list, but I only pick a few to call the most. I feel more comfortable to talk to those people, to be around with them than the rest of others. I forget when I stop calling them and wait for their calls. Let me tell you, it is not a fun game. I don't rely on this game to judge my friendships with them, but I do hope to receive their calls everyday. I am afraid being lonely.

Believe it or not, just before I came back to write this, I was being myself in "Go For Tea". That was not possible, because I hate being alone around the crowds. When everyone were so happy to chit chat and I was sitting at the table alone. I didn't like that feeling.

I really hope you will call me. Just to say HI or ask how my day is. Please not to give me those "I don't care" tone. If you treat me as your friend, please treat me what you want your friends treat you. We may have different standard of friendships. I am sure that things go well between us because GOD gave us the chance to meet, to become friends, and the most important, HE gave us the comfortable feeling to share our stories. Then why do we waste what GOD gave us? Please give me a call even it is nothing to chat about it. I don't want to be hopeless.

I do have a lot of comfortable friends, but talking about sharing. You are one of a few. You know who you are. =) Thank you for being a good friend to me. I will treasure the friendship and you.