Cookie I love you....

After my resignation, I am trying to recover from high stress level to normal. Still have quite a bit neck pain and can't really go to sleep yet. I guess it takes sometimes to do so.

I went to talk to brother Chris (Pastor Chris) and he taught me one very important thing: one little thing at a time. I set a goal and acheive everyday. That will build up my self-esteem.
It is not easy for me to build it from ZERO.

I should thank my ex-manager. If she didn't drag me to ZERO self-esteem, I would not do it from beginning.

Everyday, I do thing little by little, and find sometimes to take the following pictures. It is time to take more or I will regret like what I did to Boy jai and Connor. Take more pictures and he will be my memories in the future.


He always get very tired. His hind legs are not really working properly anymore, but he is very brave and work on "get up", "go upstairs" himself. He is strong enough NOT to let us help him. He still has very nice coat. very nice manner and of coz, his pair of pity eyes.

He starts to reduce the alert as he has nothing to lose anymore. He never use to sleep in day time with eye close. Now he does it ALL the time... Whenever he gets up, he will look for me. Make sure people around him. Gives me a big YAWN and lie back down. This is his day. He prefers not to walk around to be security guard anymore. He prefers to stay with me. He rather walk around me instead of search around the house.

One day, I am too concentrated to look at him, and I fall to sleep. When I open my eyes, I see...

a BIG HEAD and a pair of BIG EYES looking right back at me...

He is very closed to me. I mean too close... my eyes go out of focus. He is very very closely watching me. guarding me. He doesn't step back at all since day 1 he lives with me. Only me, left him behind... always left him behind...

Take a closer look at him again. Finally, his grey/white hair starts to grow more and more around his nose, now.... around his eyes too... still ... he looks so handsome and he knows he is still handsome. I never abandon him. He was being left behind twice. I won't let it happen to him again. I will walk with him until the last breathe he has.

Cookie, I love you. I know your legs are hurting and you pretends nothing bothering you. I know your eyes can't see clear anymore. Don't worry. I will be your guide. bcoz you are my cookie. The only Cookie I will ever have.... You are just too unique... too special...

Cookie, I love you always. Don't leave me too soon.