Message from Ron

Hi Percy,

Here is some encouragement from someone who I asked to pray for you:

This is a personalized prayers from Kassey.

Percy I have prayed for you today!! I myself had a very difficult time with
depression until I met a wonderful Christian Therapist and started to pray. pray
percy and so will the rest of us and God will pull you out of this!!

My Father and my God, your watchful care is a blessed assurance in my life.
Shield and defend me from the attacks from the evil forces in this world. O
Lord, be my Hiding Place and my Mighty Fortress. "you are my hiding place and my
shield; I hope in Your word" (Psalm 119:114 NKJV). Amen

Here I am again, O Lord, at the foot of Your cross, so thankful that you
love me just the way I am - imperfect and broken. Mend me and fill me with your
love and grace my Lord. Amen.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to
change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a
time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to
peace; Taking, as [Christ] did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have
it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That
I maybe reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in
the next. Amen.

Why are you downcast? O my Soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope
in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast
within me; therefore I will remember you... By day the Lord directs his love, at
night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life (Psalm 42:5-6, 8,
NIV)

Ron



Ron has been very sick in the past years. It was Miracle from God that HE healed Ron when Ron was little. But then, Evil took the miracle away. It is really LONG story... I just can't write it all down at this moment. I will write it down when I have time.

Hope you will have some encouragement from what he sent me.

Thanks, Ron

Busy day

today is another busy day. At least Kenneth is around and I know I am safe and quiet at night. That is why I love to be with Kenneth. He doesn't talk alot, but good enough I feel safe and happy.

So many things to do, especially when the Event comes......

What event? you don't know? let me tell you.

It seems like everything is set... but need to have more organized on Volunteers..

Volunteers are happy, I am happy... bcoz they are my friends as well. =)

If you are my volutneers and reading this, please note that I am serious about the friendship between you and me. Not only the Volunteering.

=)

Time is ticking

Have you ever think of something and you become Emotion?

yeah, I am now... !!!!

Whenever I think the time is ticking... I know it is getting closer...

Whenever I think the day is getting darker... I know it is getting closer...

Whenever I think of his face... I know it is getting closer...

You will ask me, getting closer to WHAT?

I am telling you... getting closer to....

his ARRIVAL TIME!! Yeah, he is coming back... I am so happy!!!!! Can't wait to see him tonight!!!!!!

Thanks, Ron

Try using 1 Cor 10:13 to minister with your friend. Also I think I remember one of the FBC teachers that said God isn't as concerned what you are going thru, but what you do and especially how your handle your situation. Roms 8:28... I am seeing with a cousin now, that being slapped around some, etc is pulling her, her family to the Lord and especially her 26 years old daughter to trust the Lord with all the bad stuff that has happened. No, I don't people should be physically hurt, but I have seen in this case, it is really showing them things still can work out and learn from the bad things. Believe me she was far from perfect, but still men should not abuse their spouse. So use your own common sense and experience you've learned through the years, and tie the different things in with a Scripture that applies to those situation, and her special situation and what she is dealing with. If you know a woman/lady/even a younger woman who is mature in the Lord, maybe let her and your friend spend time together. Sometimes females especially need to unload and talk and that helps more than you may realize.

This is what Ron told me. Thanks, Ron. I am very appreciated it.

1% Positive

These days... my stress level is getting higher and higher. yes, Alice is coming back. the invisible pressume comes from her emails.

I thought I replied her emails (She said she had 200s emails, and I believe 100s from me.)...

Anyway, there are just too many ways from her to contact me... It is just so troublesome.

I am scared... I am not scare by the job, but the person.
No matter how good I think I do, she will just put the negative first.

95% Negative, 3% Neutral, 1% Suggestion, 1% Positive

Do you know how much I do in order to fight for 1% positive?

It is very sad to do so much in order to reward that 1%. It is just very hard... very difficult.

If she wants me to learn from my mistake... without regularly positive encouragement, I am sorry, I just don't understand how it works.

It is the Reality?

Come on, I just want to be me.. I just want to be coordinator, don't put me on the spot. I just want to do the job... I just want to do the good job in my position. But Demand is getting higher and more... I can't stand it anymore... I just can't stand it anymore....

Why she always do this to me? I feel like stand at the corner.

Sept 4 2009, What another day...

I was so tired this morning, got up and my brain kept thinking thinking and thinking. What did I think? seriously, didnt remember. This is some kind of "Senior moment" for me.

Arrived the office, I went to see Kau Mo. She asked me how I am lately... The bitter inside me just hard to explain it out.

I keep telling myself NOT to show any NOT happy sign, so I pretended I was so normal at work. Alice asked Vincent and I to the room. I thought another "being yelled", end up she wanted to have devotion with us. I didn't want to, but I guessed we had to. She is the boss.

I was trying to do all the stuffs. Today is the businesss Sponsorships deadline, I posted up what I had on Michael's FTP site, and email Suk Yin and Vincent. Packed the suitecase (boot suitcase) for Benny... Then .. .Noon time.

Have to run... in order to have something in the stomach before meeting MCCC at 2pm. MUST leave at noon. I went to Biu Yee Ma, She explained to me about the house of ours may not good to our lives. We didn't do any good since we moved in.

I had been thinking about this issue.... awhile ago. I didn't know end up ... it actually someone brought it up.

I didn't mean to be rude, but I really want to do thing one at a time.

Sell the condo, renovate Markham, then get a new house and sell Markham. This is my plan. Hopefully it works.

Time to go... need to meet up the business agent. Everything will be fine except, I really don't like being micromanagemnt. I really hate it.

The "Positive" that I don't want to have...

I keep telling myself, POSITIVE, HAPPY, GOOD

Prediction (I would like to have a chance to prevent any unhappy issue happen ahead of time)
Objective (Good that I am not subjective, or the world becomes very BLACK and WHITE in me)
Subsitution (Should I start to find someone to sub me)
Intensionally (Sometimes people just do something they thought they are right...)
Talent (Do I have any? I can't see it anymore)
Impatience (When my boss around me, my pressure from this)
Violent (I always want to this to her)
Experience (It teaches me NOT to do anything above)

Think deepy, I believe Positive thinking is a MUST in me, or people around will suffer alot

DO you think so?

Confronted by minutes and minutes..

Today... I really had a bad bad bad headache....

Alice H. confronted me by marking all my late day with the Minutes I was late. However, I knew I was wrong by being late, Sorry ok? but how could she marked down ALL minutes I was late??? I am so upset about it...

How come I am always wrong? How come I never reach her standard?

If one day I get out where I am working now, I will send my BLOG WEB to Alice H. I hope she understand how much she hurts me.

Failure in me

What am I doing?
Why am I crying?
How should I face the problems?
Who should I talk to?
When is my time come?

I am looking at my dogs now. They are just sitting beside me. Why am I feeling lonely? When I have them? When I have Kenneth in my life?

I am crying, bcoz I know my boss is going to confront me of my LATE? why am I late? An hour driving every morning is not easy for me. 2 hours driving back home is a headache. Why God? Why are you leading me to this? Am I really that bad you have to DISCIPLINE me? you have to CHANGE me?

I feel so much pressure to face ALICEs, yeah, both ALICEs. Alice Ho and Alice Man. When I face to Alice Ho, I don't know how much MORE I need to change to reach her standard. When I face to Alice Man, I don't know how to love her in order for her to feel comfortable.

Where are you, Kenneth? You were saying that when I am crying, you will be here with me, but where are you now? I was holding the knife, thinking if I should go ahead to just finish it... but I just don't want to make it a mess. Just only Ka Ho can't handle stuffs like that. King is emotional now. Parents are worrying about King... I can't... I don't care about myself anymore..

Guess what? EVERYDAY, I just want to get myself into car accident... I don't know why I think like this... why this is my intention EVERYDAY.

People asked me, "Why aren't you happy? You have Kenneth." I don't know. Do I have him? I really don't know. I feel sorry for him that he has to take care of me. He shouldn't. He doesn't need to.

Should I just go back to Single? Should I? SHOULD I?

At this moment, I am very upset. I need to get myself into such situation? Am I a loser or what?

My Heavenly father, without you, I believe I left this world a long long time ago.

Prayer: THANKS

Dear God,

Thank you for telling me the following:
"My Brothers and Sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, bcoz you know that these troubles test your raith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need" James 1:2-4

Thank you for helping King. I know he knows what he needs to do. Please guide his road. It maybe tough, but I know you are good at that, I know you won't let me down. King needs you badly, he prayed to you, but he couldn't quiet down himself to listen to you. my Lord, please help him ... If coming back to Canada is good for him, then let him be. Please God, arm around him and let him feel the LOVE.

Thank you for letting Alice to face the Death of her grandpa when Kenneth was around. Even though he didn't know what to do about it, but Alice is a brave girl. I know she is learning how to handle it. Please take care of her and her family.

Thank you for giving me the chance to learn NOT to be siu hay. Sorry, Lord, I am very siu hay, bcoz I don't know how to keep what I have. I don't like to share what I have with others. Please Lord help me.

My Lord, whenever I see Alice, I am just so afraid that Kenneth would go back to his old family and leave me behind. I shouldn't think this way, but I know I am thinking this badly. Please let me out of the jealousy and get back into my happy life.

I am not too sure I should give up the relationship bcoz I really don't know if I can handle Alice or not. I am just afraid that she would CHALLENGE me... and my family. I don't know what to do. I know Kenneth would not on my side, so what I should do.

Please give me wisdoms on how to talk to Alice about the death of her grandpa.

Dear Lord, I really do care about how this little girl feel, as she is very smart and good. I really like her. Please take care of her.

My Lord, I need to get back to work. I love you as usual...

~Amen