Dear Lord,
Thank you for giving me some quiet time at home. Please forgive me not to attend fellowship. I don't want to meet people. I am sorry, My Lord. Please forgive me being lazy lately.
My heavenly father, I miss Boy jai. Please help me. I came home, finished my dinner (that I didn't want to eat at first, but I told myself that I HAD TO eat something), watched TV, finished my novel reading and I went towards to the piano. I started to play that song again. The song Boy jai loved to listen to it. Whenever I played it, he would came closed to my seat and lied down on the floor. I only remembered this song. I didn't remember the whole song, but I just repeatly played whatever I remembered.
my Lord, I need to learn how to let go. I need to learn how to learn on my own life. I need to learn how to be independent. I need to learn how to be patience. I need to learn how to be nice to others. I need to learn how to calm down myself. I need to learn how to be brave and not to cry. I need to learn how to be myself.
You are my light, my guide and my path. Please walk with me, please lead me, please carry me. Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I shouldn't have anything. Please Lord, help me... I am in my depression mode again. I am scared. I am worried. I love you, Lord. Please tell me what I need to do.
When I pray for love, you give me opportunity to love. When I pray for sympathy, you give me opportunity to be taken care of. When I pray for couragement, you give me opportunity to strengthen myself. My dear Lord, please let me learn. I still have a lot to learn. Please be with me. I can't walk this journey without you.
I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ.
~Amen.
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