When I try to take it slow, it goes away just like that...

Dear God,

Please take my tears away...
I don't want to cry. I am telling myself not to cry. I know the truth before it comes out.

The truth is:
I am not good enough??
I am a loser??

My heavenly father, I have been praying for this and you tell me to wait. I have been waiting. When I think it's time, how come it has been taken away immediately?

Please forgive me being so stupid...
but I don't want to be too friendly, that is why everyone see me as best friend, good friend. End up I am still alone.

Please take my fear away...
I am afraid to lose him, end up he walks away from me... the fear of loniness is WAY bigger than YOU that it is covering me. Please take it away...

I don't know who I should turn to, but you, my Lord. I don't understand, why it happens like this? When I want it slow, it goes away too fast...

My mind is so confused now, my tears can't stop dropping down, my dear LORD, please help me.. please help me...

Praying in Christ,
Amen