What a stressful day...

I am trying so hard... to relax...

I am supposed to relax...
I am really stressed right now....

Today is not a good day. I thought I can be relaxed, end up I have to alert at all time...

Cookie is not feeling well...
Mickey is peeing everywhere....
Thinking about my invitation card.... at the same time... need to find the reasons to support my own ideas to Fiance...
Tring to lose more pounds but end up gained 0.75lb....
Willing to get stuffs done, but at the same time... I am telling myself ....



Percy Chan...


One thing at a time....



One by one....



DON'T RUSH!!!

But ... my money is slipping away....

Need to get myself together and find a job ....

But I guess... I will leave this part to God. He knows what is the best for me.... he planned my road.... God bless to me....

Cookie I love you....

After my resignation, I am trying to recover from high stress level to normal. Still have quite a bit neck pain and can't really go to sleep yet. I guess it takes sometimes to do so.

I went to talk to brother Chris (Pastor Chris) and he taught me one very important thing: one little thing at a time. I set a goal and acheive everyday. That will build up my self-esteem.
It is not easy for me to build it from ZERO.

I should thank my ex-manager. If she didn't drag me to ZERO self-esteem, I would not do it from beginning.

Everyday, I do thing little by little, and find sometimes to take the following pictures. It is time to take more or I will regret like what I did to Boy jai and Connor. Take more pictures and he will be my memories in the future.


He always get very tired. His hind legs are not really working properly anymore, but he is very brave and work on "get up", "go upstairs" himself. He is strong enough NOT to let us help him. He still has very nice coat. very nice manner and of coz, his pair of pity eyes.

He starts to reduce the alert as he has nothing to lose anymore. He never use to sleep in day time with eye close. Now he does it ALL the time... Whenever he gets up, he will look for me. Make sure people around him. Gives me a big YAWN and lie back down. This is his day. He prefers not to walk around to be security guard anymore. He prefers to stay with me. He rather walk around me instead of search around the house.

One day, I am too concentrated to look at him, and I fall to sleep. When I open my eyes, I see...

a BIG HEAD and a pair of BIG EYES looking right back at me...

He is very closed to me. I mean too close... my eyes go out of focus. He is very very closely watching me. guarding me. He doesn't step back at all since day 1 he lives with me. Only me, left him behind... always left him behind...

Take a closer look at him again. Finally, his grey/white hair starts to grow more and more around his nose, now.... around his eyes too... still ... he looks so handsome and he knows he is still handsome. I never abandon him. He was being left behind twice. I won't let it happen to him again. I will walk with him until the last breathe he has.

Cookie, I love you. I know your legs are hurting and you pretends nothing bothering you. I know your eyes can't see clear anymore. Don't worry. I will be your guide. bcoz you are my cookie. The only Cookie I will ever have.... You are just too unique... too special...

Cookie, I love you always. Don't leave me too soon.

Losing weight.

Weight Loss PLAN started 3 weeks ago. It was awesome. First time ever I felt awesome. I lost 10 lbs in the 1st week.

So sad, I went to Ottawa with friends, end up I gained 6 lbs right the way....

Started from then... it was so hard to accept the difficulty of lossing weight again.

I am going to work so hard... bcoz I believe my pre-wedding pictures should be taken in Oct. It is very frustrated on how to prepare myself in a peaceful way.... Ka Ho got into car accident, then his wisdom teeth (yeah.. can't believe it.. he had wisdom teeth).... then ... my accupunture,etc etc.

Just so many things. I am very tired. I just want to find the TIME.... pass thru peacefully... but not rushing to this, and rushing to that... What the heck...??

Now... I am not in hurry to look for job ... Going to rest, trying to recover from healthy body... losing some weight...

THis is my goal... LOSING as much as POSSIBLE.... before OCT!!!!

THIS IS a MUST!! a MUST MUST MUST!!!!!!!!