損人不利己，卻殺人於無型的最佳武器

這就是「曖昧」- 損人不利己，卻殺人於無型的最佳武器===========================================

曖昧係... 比好朋友再親一點，但比情人遠一點 ..
曖昧係... 有一點兒兄妹的情誼，但卻不敢以兄妹相稱。大家都暗暗的明白，這段關係不可能簡單如兩兄妹 ...
曖昧係... 你會常常在MSN等他在線。你會設定他一在線時，系統會有onlinealert，你也會把他的名字floatingon。每當見他幾天沒有在線，你就會有些擔心 ...
曖昧係... 你會不時去他的Info? 日記看看有沒有更新，而且你會留意字裡行間，他對你有沒有甚麼暗示？
曖昧係.. 有感覺，然而，這種感覺不足以叫你們切切實實的發展一段正式的關係 ...
曖昧是... 明白人生有太多的無奈，現實有太多的限制。你知道沒有可能，但又捨不得放手 ...
曖昧係... 有進一步的衝動，卻沒有進一步的勇氣。更怕一旦進一步的話，便會失去 ...
曖昧係... 他不是你的情人，但他似乎比你的情人更關心你和了解你 ...
曖昧係... 他會送一份心思細密的禮物給你，但大家從沒有開始過 ...
曖昧係... 雖然他不是你的情人，但他卻會對你說︰「你對我是十分重要的。」
曖昧係... 你有事時有一個會在晚上打電話來，向你噓寒問暖，關心你，叫你蓋好被早點睡的普通朋友。
曖昧係... 當你遇到問題解決不了的時候，你找不到你的女朋友，你第一個便會想起她 ...
曖昧係... 每當他提及他的另一半時，你會萬箭穿心，卻又默默忍受 ...
曖昧係... 為了逃避背叛的罪惡感 ?!
曖昧係... 甜津津又同時酸溜溜的。往往從未開始，已叫人不安，患得患失 ....
曖昧係... 別人以為你們在發展地下情時，你會沾沾自喜 ~~
曖昧係... 別人問你們是否在戀愛中，你張口結舌 ...
曖昧係 ... 常常掙扎表不表白。你怕表白之後，你既得不到一個情人，卻又失去了一個知心好友 ~曖昧係... 見到她時，你會心跳 ; 見不到她時，你會掛念 ~~
曖昧係... 兩個人都會互相猜度。他是不是已經暗示了甚麼 ?! 我是不是自作多情 ?!
曖昧係... 每天大家都會聊 MSN，間中會互傳手機短訊，無規律地偶然約會 ...
曖昧係... 除了情人節外，在大時大節和生日，大家都會交換禮物 ; 在外地的時候，你總會記得帶手信給她 ~~
曖昧係... 你會留意他喜歡的歌星，他也會留意你喜歡，儘管大家本來並不太喜歡對方的偶像 ...
曖昧係... 在唱K時，你仍會忍不住去點楊千嬅的《有發生過》/ 陳奕訊的《兄妹》亦曾在你心中繞樑三日，久久不能釋懷。
曖昧係... 你很想多走一步，但又怕會嚇怕了他。你會很小心流露自己的感情，你忍不住不去著緊他，但又怕他會知道你著緊 ...
曖昧係... 兩個人沒有承諾過甚麼。但雖然如此，你願意付出的比有承諾的情侶更多 .. 沒有責任，但你卻很渴望去承擔，不問回報 ...
曖昧是... 一扇門，你可以留在門外，也可以踏進房子裡面。然而，你不可以停留在門下面。門﹗永遠不是終點站 !!
曖昧是... 一瞬間的 disequilibrium !!當供求曲線還在心猿意馬地上下移動時，我們趁機享受如夢初醒之前錯配的歡愉。有天，市場的力量會叫雲消煙散。或退或進，在無形之手掌管下，曖昧最後只會日暮途窮 ....

**你也有一個這樣的人在身邊嘛 ?!

Mainland Chinese has better English

大陸好笑電影譯名，超好笑，啲comment仲好笑.....

英文名: ANTZ
香港譯名: 蟻哥正傳
大陸譯名: 無產階級貧下中農螞蟻革命史 (完全睇唔出同"無產階級"、"貧下中農"有乜關係，同埋點解大陸成日鍾意咩都跟革命扯上關係?)

英文名: The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers
香港譯名: 魔戒二部曲: 雙城奇謀
大陸譯名: 指環王2: 兩座塔 (金塔定屎塔? ) P.S.我覺得"色戒"可以考慮譯做"情色指環王"。

英文名: 007: Die Another Day
香港譯名: 新鐵金剛之不日殺機
大陸譯名: 新鐵金剛之擇日再死 (死都要擇日?駛唔駛搵蘇民峰算一算?)

英文名: Catch Me If You Can
香港譯名: 捉智雙雄
大陸譯名: 來找我啊，如果你可以 (擺明直譯無經過思考)

英文名: Pretty Woman
香港譯名: 風月俏佳人
大陸譯名: 漂亮女人 (咁你又吹佢唔漲，因為照字面真係咁解)

英文名: Indecent Proposal
香港譯名: 不道德的交易
大陸譯名: 不道德的建設 (起雞竇呀而家......?睇過套戲o既人都知唔關建設事....九唔搭八!!!)

英文名: The Passion Of Christ
香港譯名: 受難曲
大陸譯名: 耶穌的激情 (老實講我覺得似鹹片名，唔知教廷知道呢個名之後有咩反應?)

英文名: Finding Nemo
香港譯名: 海底奇兵
大陸譯名: 海底都是魚 (咁又未必，仲有珊瑚、水母、海參、鯨魚...)

英文名: Top Gun
香港譯名: 壯志凌雲
大陸譯名: 好大的一支槍 (聽到o個刻係想死...我覺得似係葡京鹹片o的低能對白。)

英文名:The Day After Tomorrow
香港譯名: 明日之後
大陸譯名: 後天 (真係"啤"一聲....明日之後o個日即係後日，合乎邏輯，Well Done!!!)

英文名: Aliens
香港譯名: 異形續集
大陸譯名: 珍奇異獸之風華再現

(你睇到呢... 啤一聲! *_*")

New Year Eve -- The last day of 2007

What would you do if this is the last day in your life?

You may think I live very negatively, but this is one motivation for me to keep going in my life.
Everyday lives like the last day of my Life. What would you do?

I am sure you don't wanna waste it.
I am sure you wanna do something worth in the last 24 hours.
I am sure you gotta do something you will not regret
I am sure you gonna spend the time with someone you care.

I was planning to go somewhere I never celebrate New Year before. Not only that... but with someone I care.
Even I can't go anywhere, it is ok. I just want to do something that I will not regret.

Last 24 hours are very important? or not? Not really for me.... But I would like to have it happy moment in my life.

Last 24 hours... I want to pray to LORD to take care of those I don't have time to care of, to help those I care of, to lead those who are lost in LIFE.

What would you do in the last 24 hours?
Make it bright and happy!!!!

You only have a pair of Parents, RESPECT THEM, TAKE CARE OF THEM

父母．只有一個

媳婦說：煮淡一點妳就嫌沒有味，現在煮鹹一點妳卻說咽不下，妳究竟想怎麼樣？」母親一見兒子回來，二話不說便把飯菜往咀裡送。她怒瞪他一眼。他試了一口，馬上吐出來，兒子說：「我不是說過了嗎，媽有病不能吃太鹹！」「那好！媽是你的，以後由你來煮！」媳婦怒氣沖沖地回房。

兒子無奈地輕嘆一聲，然後對母親說：「媽，別吃了，我去煮個麵給妳。」「仔，你是不是有話想跟媽說，是就說好了，別憋在心裡！「媽，公司下個月升我職，我會很忙，至於老婆，她說很想出來工作，所以 ....」母親馬上意識到兒子的意思：「仔，不要送媽去老人院。」聲音似乎在哀求。 兒子沉默片刻，他是在尋找更好的理由。「媽，其實老人院並沒有甚麼不好，妳知道老婆一但工作，一定沒有時間好好服侍妳。人院有吃有住有人服侍照顧，不是比在家裡好得多嗎？」「可是，阿財叔他....」

洗了澡，草草吃了一碗速食麵，兒子便到書房去。他茫然地佇立於窗前，有些猶豫不決。母親年輕便守寡，含辛茹苦將他撫養成人，供他出國讀書。但她從不用年輕時的犧牲當作要脅他孝順的籌碼，反而是妻子以婚姻要脅他！真的要讓母親住老人院嗎？

仔問自己，他有些不忍。「可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，難道是你媽嗎？」阿財叔的兒子總是這樣提醒他「你媽都這麼老了，好命的話可以活多幾年，為何不趁這幾年好好孝順她呢？樹欲靜而風不息，子欲養而親不在啊！」親戚總是這樣勸他。 兒子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的會改變初衷。

夕晚，太陽收斂起灼熱的金光，躲在山後憩息。一間建在郊外山崗的一座貴族老人院。是的，錢用得越多，兒子才心安理得。當兒子領著母親步入大廳時，嶄新的電視機，42吋的螢幕正播放著一部喜劇，但觀眾一點笑聲也沒有。幾個衣著一樣，髮型一樣的老嫗歪歪斜斜地坐在梳化上，神情呆滯而有一個老人在自言自語，有個正緩緩彎下腰，想去撿掉在地上的一塊餅乾吃。兒子知道母親喜歡光亮，所以為她選了一間陽光充足的房間。從窗口望出去，樹蔭下，一片芳草如茵。幾名護士推著坐在輪椅的老者在夕陽下散步，四周悄然寂靜得令人心酸。縱是夕陽無限好，畢竟已到了黃昏，他心中低低嘆息。「媽，我........我要走了！」母親只能點頭。他走時，母親頻頻揮手，她張著沒有牙的嘴，蒼白乾燥的咀唇在囁嚅著，一副欲語還休的樣子。兒子這才注意到母親銀灰色的頭髮，深陷的眼窩以及打著細紋臉。母親，真的老了！

他霍然記起一則兒時舊事。那年他才6歲，母親有事回鄉，不便攜他同行，於是把他寄住在阿財叔家幾天。母親臨走時，他驚恐地抱著母親的腿傷心大聲號哭道：「媽媽不要丟下我！媽媽不要走！」最後母親沒有丟下他。他連忙離開房間，順手把門關上，不敢回頭，深恐那記憶像鬼魅似地追纏而來。

他回到家，妻子與岳母正瘋狂的把母親房裡的一切扔個不亦樂乎。身高3呎的獎杯──那是他小學作文比賽「我的母親」第1名的勝利品！華英字典──那是母親整個月省吃省用所買給他的第一份生日禮物！還有母親臨睡前要擦的風濕油，沒有為她擦，帶去老人院又有甚麼意義呢？「夠了，別再扔了！」兒子怒吼道。﹝這麼多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎麼放得下我的東西﹞。岳母沒好氣地說。「就是嘛！你趕快把你媽那張爛床給抬出去，我明天要為我媽添張新的！」一堆童年的照片展現在兒子眼前，那是母親帶他到動物園和遊樂園拍的照片。「它們是我媽的財產，一樣也不能丟！」「你這算甚態度？對我媽這麼大聲，我要你向我媽道歉！」「 我娶妳就要愛妳的母親，為甚麼妳嫁給我就不能愛我的母親？」

雨後的黑夜分外冷寂，街道蕭瑟，行人車輛格外稀少。一輛寶馬在路上飛馳，頻頻闖紅燈，陷黃格，呼一聲又飛馳而過。那輛轎車一路奔往山崗上的那間老人院，停車直奔上樓，推開母親臥房的門。他幽靈似地站著，母親正撫摸著風濕痛的雙腿低泣。她見到兒子手中正拿著那瓶風濕油，顯然感到安慰的說：「媽忘了帶，幸好你拿來！」他走到母親身邊，跪了下來。「很晚了，媽自己擦可以了，你明天還要上班，回去吧！」他囁嚅片刻，終於忍不住啜泣道：「媽，對不起，請原諒我！我們回家去吧 ！」

～～後語～～
隨著自己愈長大，看著父母親臉龐從年輕變憔悴，頭髮從烏絲變白髮,動作從迅捷變緩慢，多心疼！父母親總是將最好、最寶貴的留給我們，像蠟燭不停的燃燒自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有沒有騰出一個空間給我的父母，或者只是在當我需要停泊岸時， 才會想起他們……其實父母親要的真的不多，只是一句隨意的問候：爸、媽，你們今天好嗎？」隨意買的宵夜，煮一頓再普通不過的晚餐，睡前幫他們蓋蓋被子，天冷幫他們添衣服、戴手套……都能讓他們高興溫馨很久。有時，我常在想：我希望我的子女以後如何對我。那現在，我有沒有如此對待我的父母？我相信，人是環環相扣的；現在，你如何對待你的父母；以後，你的子女就如何待你。

朋友，人世間最難報的就是父母恩，願我們都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以恩之心孝順父母！生命不要求我們成為最好的，只要求我們作最大的努力！

老人安養院牆上發現的一篇文章孩子！

當你還很小的時候，我花了很多時間，教你慢慢用湯匙、用筷子吃東西。教你繫鞋帶、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳頭髮、擰鼻涕。這些和你在一起的點點滴滴，是多麼的令我懷念不已。所以，當我想不起來，接不上話時，請給我一點時間，等我一下，讓我再想一想……極可能最後連要說什麼，我也一併忘記。孩子！你忘記我們練習了好幾百回，才學會的第一首娃娃歌嗎？是否還記得每天總要我絞盡腦汁，去回答不知道你從哪裡冒出來的嗎？所以，當我重覆又重覆說著老掉牙的故事，哼著我孩提時代的兒歌時，體諒我。讓我繼續沉醉在這些回憶中吧！切望你，也能陪著我閒話家常吧！孩子，現在我常忘了扣扣子、繫鞋帶。吃飯時，會弄髒衣服，梳頭髮時手還會不停的抖，不要催促我，要對我多一點耐心和溫柔，只要有你在一起，就會有很多的溫暖湧上心頭。

孩子！如今，我的腳站也站不穩，走也走不動。所以，請你緊緊的握著我的手，陪著我，慢慢的。就像當年一樣，我帶著你一步一步地走。若為人子女也不懂得如何體諒他們，那他們便只能於痛苦中渡過餘生，黑暗中逝去....

Christmas Eve 2007

Christmas... another Christmas.... wow!!! already passed so many Christmas in my life.

Just want to share this with you. This should be give you a SMILE on your face on this Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas to all of you, My Friends.

Waiting for snowboarding badly... I am waiting for NICE powdered Snow....

something I would like to share with you...

I got a job offer!!!!

World Vision!

Praise the Lord!

Vivian, I will keep praying for you. You will find what you want to do soon!

暖色

歌手：盧巧音 作曲：盧巧音 填詞：喬靖夫 編曲：劉志遠

愛世間每種溫暖的色彩,只要眼光放開　
隨時感覺快樂,用心的觀看天邊海角有極美風光　溢滿意外
把心窗打開　暖意透進來
冬天再冷身體不會顫抖
微黃陽光中　徐徐涼風送動
熱愛生命的心　把世界畫滿色彩
不喜歡化妝﹐只愛跑一趟﹔把血管都擴張　
桃紅色泛臉上﹐讓他欣賞我　深呼吸我　自然美的姿采
愛世間每種溫暖的色彩﹐只要眼光放開　隨時感覺快樂
用心的觀看天邊海角　最和暖色彩
微明凌晨中　徐徐涼風送動
熱愛生命的心　把世界畫滿色彩
播古典唱片　傾聽最喜愛優雅粉色舞曲　黃金協奏樂
讓聲音支配　官感知覺　變幻腦海的光
愛世間每種溫暖的色彩﹐把冷灰色踢開　隨時感覺快樂
在天空海闊　親手繪上各樣最美色彩
愛世間每種溫暖的色彩﹐讓眼光放開　隨時感覺快樂
用心的觀看天邊海角　最和暖的色彩
要看得更多　只要眼光放開
用心的觀看　最和暖的色彩

Clear and straight forward Testimony

What exactly am I looking for in my life?
Am I going to spend most of my life for Money? for Names? or for Materials?

I need a job, I need to do my best on my job, but I don't want to stuck into the pride of such.
I need money. I need how much I need, but not how much I want.
I need people recognize me. I don't need BIG name bcoz everyone equal under God's hands.
I need the basic, but not excess.

I need Love, God provides different opportunities for me to love and to be loved.
I need Secure, God provides different opportunities for me to feel and to be protected.
I need Joys, God provides different opportunities for me to show and to be received.
I need happiness, God provides different opportunities for me to experience and to be shared.

I thanked God that Sammi become Christian, so I will be able to meet her in person in the heaven in the future. Sammi is one of a few gal singers I like that most. I like her voice, I like her attitude and her mindset.

However, I just want to share this important message to you all, my friends.

祝福別人，等於祝福自己

祝福別人，等於祝福自己。

不以惡報惡，以辱罵還辱罵，倒要祝福。因為你們是為此蒙召，好叫你們承受福氣。(彼前3：9)

Celebrities Look Alike

Just a laugh!

伯母: 「祝我個女生意凶靈！」

我: 哈哈哈！ 伯母「生意興隆呀？」

伯母: 「我咪講生意凶靈羅！」勁！

我: 勁！

I meant it....

I got the following in FACEBOOK. I hope you read it and understand what I mean...

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it.
When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....

Find a guy ...
who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy...
who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you,
who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "

I can't believe, you make me cry again

You may think I am so freaking "LONG AIR". To be honest.... I am.

Boy jai already gone for 2 months. I mean... he is not physically with us for 2 months. I thought I already got used to it. I thought I wouldn't cry bcoz of him... but... once again... I found the following:

11月3日
回應
阿哥:
當我看完你給朋友的信﹐我應該說不用傷心﹐將來大家一定會再見。。不是你的自私﹐也不需要自責。。看完信後在我腦海浮現出來的影像就是他﹐每個唔同既容貌﹐動作都浮現出來。我好想同大家分享我的經歷。

Dear bro,
I should say "No Worry" to you after I read your "Letter to my friends". We must see each other for sure. It was not about selfishness, please not to angry at yourself. After I read your blog, I only had his faces, his images and actions popped into my head. I would like to share this with you and the rest.

在書房睡了差不多有一個月﹐終於有一天晚上﹐我特然在夢裡再次看見到他﹐沒有特別的事情﹐亦都沒有靈驗的現像。只是一個普普通通的夢境﹐但是﹐在夢裡我手拿著拖帶﹐和平時一樣陪他到公園去﹐後來解開了拖帶﹐放他任意地跑﹐任意地走﹐正當我看到他越走越遠的時候﹐叫他一次﹐回頭望﹐第二次﹐回頭望後坐下﹐當我想走到他的面前﹐他又再次走了﹐當我跑去追他﹐叫著他的名字﹐追著﹐但是我跑了很久﹐因為雙方距離太遠﹐老是追不到﹐那時我就醒了。。

It was almost a month that I slept in the study den. Finally, I dreamed of him. There was no special things, nor spiritual story happened. It was just a regular dream. In the dream, I was holding the leash peacefully walking with him to the off leash park. Once we arrived the park, I let him go and he ran around and around. When I saw him ran too far away, I called him name. He stopped and looked at me and then kept going. I called him again, he stopped and sat down. While I walked towards him, he ran away, just like he was playing games with me. I was chasing him, called his name, ran after him, but I couldn't get him. Our distance was too far away, finally I woke up.

感覺到不憤的我醒來﹐看看鬧鐘~三點半!!明天要返工!!好快就令自己再次睡著﹐想想自己應該可以加快地跑﹐再次追上﹐覺得自己應該可以找回他﹐也可以知道他去到那裡。。在夢中﹐我見到他﹐捉到了﹐同我看見他那口乾的樣子﹐手拿著水撙﹐但不知道為甚嚒會有乾糧同藥物在袋裡。。特然﹐有位白人路過﹐叫我給他飲完水後﹐休息一會兒﹐就把他放鏈﹐放手。。給他跑﹐向前面的直路跑﹐最後看到他和那白人一起走了﹐向前面的直路跑﹐我看到他有回頭﹐望過我﹐就好像我每天開車前﹐返工前同他說再見﹐吻一下的吻別感覺一樣。

I looked at the alarm clock. It was 3:30am, I needed to work in the morning so I forced myself to sleep again. The dream continused, I tried to chase him again, This time I got him, he looked like very thirsty, my hand held the water bottle and also some dry food and some medication. There was a white man walked by, HE asked me to give boy jai some water, let him rest and unleash him, let him run. Eventually, he caught up with that WHITE man and they walked together. Boy jai kept walking forward, he turned around and looked at me. His face was like daily look when I kissed him goodbye to work.

感覺真的很難受﹐真的很難受﹐好似好唔捨得的﹐但是我知道有那位白人陪著﹐他一定不會迷路﹐將來一定會再見﹐在最後一次手術抬上見面﹐我以經同他發下誠諾﹐而我自己還是覺得自己家裡的書房是他常常到的地方﹐應該會可以再次夢見或聽到他的聲音﹐近況。。。當時候到了﹐他會回來﹐和那白人一樣接我到他的樂園﹐那時一定會很開心﹐但是一定會很忙﹐我一定會留在他的身邊。我唔會再需要工作﹐唔需要返工﹐放工。。唔需要去開會﹐見客。。我一定會陪你﹐做一些我好耐無做的﹐例如洗澡﹐梳毛﹐行街﹐玩捉迷藏﹐唔會再帶你去何主任﹐或醫生到﹐因為我會全時間陪你﹐照顧你。。

It was so hard for me to let him go, unless I knew he was with the WHITE man, so he would not get lost. I promised him when he lied on the surgery bed, I would meet him again. After he was gone, I loved to stay in the study den bcoz I wished I could dream or listen his voice. When the time came, he would be back to pick me up and took me to the garden he prepared with the WHITE man. I would be so happy and would be so busy with him. Too busy to be with you without boring rountine work. He didn't need to go to see Dr, or groomers, bcoz I would full time be with you and take care of you.

但是有時我覺得好無耐﹐我知道你每一刻在上都看到我門一家人﹐但是我真的忍了很久﹐但是最後都比你在彩虹橋望到我哭泣既樣子﹐不想說出口的﹐但是我真係好掛住你﹐有時唔想返屋企﹐唔想洗衫﹐因為唔知道如果再見到你﹐真的不知道應不應該再次比你走開﹐比你再次離開。。
我從覺得自己有錯﹐如果當天我遲多一點返工﹐那我就可以帶你去醫生到﹐可能還會有救也不定。。

你要記得你和我的誠諾﹐如果我時候到了﹐你要回來接我﹐我不會理會其他人的﹐你現在要為我一家人探路﹐然後回來陪我門一起再走過﹐你誠諾的﹐記住要做。。我相信那白人和你現在一定很開心。。玩時玩﹐有時候如果經過屋企﹐記住入黎探我﹐我知道COOKIES 同大家見到你一定會好開心﹐那時我門會準備一切﹐我必答謝你的白人朋友﹐預備豐富晚餐等你回來!!!

Sorry, I can't translate it anymore... I am very emotion right now.

I finally found out one of the reasons why Ka Ho stayed in the Study den for a month. I thank God that I have 2 lovely brothers who love BOY JAI so much. Thank you, bro!

我愛阿愛

Dear Friends,

I am going to watch this, no matter what..... =)

只要還能愛得動　那管相識在「暮」中 杜國威 + 話劇團 溫馨新作賀團慶

這天，年屆七十身患絕症的老人這樣宣佈：「我吳堅，會與女傭阿愛結婚！她已有我的骨肉。」你是吳堅的仔女，怎算？提問一：「堅定流啊？」；疑問二：「你真的愛阿愛？」；讚嘆三：「老豆，你好堅！」；結論四：「阿愛只是愛你的錢。」；推論五：「她的骨肉不是你的。」；終極關懷六：「情值何價？愛是何物？」大兒子立泰會否像老父敢愛敢恨？二女立純與丈夫大勇可否長相廝守？細子立德能否跨越失戀的傷痕？肯定的是，阿愛表示不會要求吳家一毛錢，待吳堅死後，更會帶著嬰兒離開吳家。阿愛與吳堅那動人的忘年戀竟也是個耐人尋味的「謎」……杜Sir幽默新作，再添人間暖流。

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What I did in the past few days...

Finally, I come back on here. Not that I don't really want to come back, but I was very busy with my family financial issues (transition between end of month and beginning of the month, always be the mess!) and the Christmas presents...

I haven't trying so hard to do Christmas Shopping. I don't do such large X'mas shopping for a LONG LONG time. There are a lot of people shopping around 24-7!

I went to Old Navy to get those "ON SALE" stuffs. Holly Molly!!!! I got a shirt for $1.99!!!! What the heck.... (I will post up the pictures if I remember)... then I got those nice causal pants for $15.00???? what the.....???

Anyway, It is my Best friend's wedding next Feb. He wants me to be his MC but I was struggling whether I should go back HK or not. I am still jobless and I really don't want to waste my money...

Friends are friends...I thank God for giving me a lot of good friends to be with me. One of my friends knows my concern, and just said, "if you need the money, you can borrow that from me now ...and go back for XXXX's weddning. You just need to pay me back later on.... "

I am speechless!!! but very touched by him. Thank you Pasa!

我有共鳴﹗

I was reading Matt's blog (http://www.unklebeach.blogspot.com/) He brought up my question as well.

How many people are actually reading what I am writing? There are just not many comment on here. What the...???

To be honest, I am not writing this bcoz of you all. I have difficulties to express myself in person. This is one ways I can let others understand me. As I remembered, I didn't let anyone know about this blog until 6 months after I started. I was too chicken to tell the world I have this BLOG. But then... I will think ... I am Percy Chan... what can stop me? heeheheheeh! I shouldn't be the chicken shit.... but the brave person to tell people what I think.

Come on, when you want to leave the comment, just leave it. You don't need to MSN me... nor email me about it. Just LEAVE IT!

JUST DO IT, my friends.

Free Dinner!

I was not planning to go out for dinner.

Thank you Paulo for saying that he would paid for me. I wouldn't mind to hang out with my friends for couple more hours. End up, I was so regreted!!!!!!

I used to eat a lot of Spicy food, not that I loved them, but proving I would be able to eat them. I honestly didn't like spicy. it killed my tastebuds. According to my Senior moment memories, I didn't eat spicy spicy food for "LONG" time. Here I was, in a Szechun restaurant with my friends.

Please NOT to think those were worms. They were not worms at all, but HOT CHILLY PEPPERS. Yeah, it was the whole freaking dish of hot pepper with a few nail size chicken in it. When the waitress placed the dish on our table, I already knew it must be freaking HOT. It spiced my nose badly. Of coz I didn't mind to eat them, it didn't matter what we were eating, I was enjoying the time with my friends.

*sigh*, that was good but once again, SPICY! The whole bowl was RED! .... What could I say? "eat it!" Actually, that wasn't too bad compared with the "worm-like" hot pepper with Popcorn chicken.

Of coz, I gotta tried them.



By looking at my face, you would know how much I wanted to eat it. Oh well... forget it. I was pretending. I loved this dish actually.

This was my Savior of the dinner. End up I got stomache (I had it before I went to dinner, and even worse after those two red dishes). Good that I had a glass of soya milk. Thank God.

Actually, I had more than 2 glasses of soya milk. The main reason was my stomache.

Once again, Thank you Paulo for paying me this dinner. I am gonna kick your ass, man!

Conclusion: Make sure what you are going to eat even friend is paying you. heeheheehe! Just kidding. I actually enjoyed the dinner! Thank you, Paulo.

Mad at HIM

Dear God,

I am sorry. I was mad at you. I didn't mean to yell at you. I was upset. I was very upset. Why do you need me go through all these? How come you need me work on all these difficulties??? How come you want me to take care all these? I just don't know how to react with all these problems. Sorry, God. I shouldn't get mad. This is an opportunities to grow up. Please forgive me. Please lead me the road.

Thank you for letting me let it out. I am very sorry. Please keep walking the road with me as well as Ka Ho.

I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ. ~Amen.

生活可以快樂點

Thank you Esther for sending me the following.

心裡清澄, 不畏人言. 要記住[來說是非者, 便是是非人.]!
口說好話, 心想好意, 身行好事.
脾氣嘴巴不好,
心地再好也不能算是好人.
靜坐常思己過, 閒談莫論人非.
要批評別人時, 先想想自己是否完美無缺.
待人退一步, 愛人寬一吋,
就會活得很快樂.
共勉之! : )

What do I like? humm..........

Everyone loves presents. New Year gifts, Valentine's gifts, Birthday gifts, Anniversary gifts, Easter gifts, Thanksgiving gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. Wow!!! There are so many gifts.

I also love gifts, but not holiday gifts. Holiday gifts mean gift you only receive during those specific holiday. Not that I don't like them, but I see them as "No heart gift". I receive them bcoz of the holiday, not bcoz of the passion from the sender, and the love of the sender.

Friends who know me, they either just gathering together with me during those special days or give me gifts with their thoughts.

I don't like fancy gifts, I have too many stuffs at home, don't want to have more junks around me. I don't like expensive gifts, I have to take extra care of them. I will be very "sun fu" as I am a very careless person.

(This is Jay from my fellowship. This gives me headache to carry all things at once)

I like the gift that inspire you to think of me. I like the gift that touch my heart. I like the gift that satisfy what I need (not what I want). I like the gift that inspire me to think of you whenever I see it. I like the gift that is not expensive so you don't need to waste your money.

(I like these sets of Michelin's figures. It is special edition of cross over M & Kot's design)

When people ask me, "what do you like for this day?"... I usually say, "No preference". It is true. If you know me more deeper, you know I like to buy stuffs during normal days. I will be ware when you need something. I maynot be able to buy it right the way, but I know that is something I can get to make you happy.

Gift is not usually expensive called PRESENT. Even a little thing can touch me a lot and warm my heart BIG time. It is all about "HEART". Don't you think so?

People, Life, Thankful...

I got this chain letter in Facebook. Thought worth to share with you all. Enjoy.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you
know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is
in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They
may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need
them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient
time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and
force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to
share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an
unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build
upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the
lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but
friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season
or a lifetime.

Boy, Miss you...

I know after I have a job, I will miss you less.

I know after I start my relationship on track, I will miss you less.

I know after I keep myself busy, I will miss you less.

I know after I time goes by, I will miss you less.

I know after I focus on something else, I will miss you less.

I know after I concern more about Cookie, I miss you less.

BUT...

I am still looking for job, so I still miss you a lot

I am still searching for the right track in my relationship, so I still miss you a lot

I am still super smart and multi-tasking, so I still miss you a lot

I am still living in a lot of memories, so I still miss you a lot

I am still focus on you, so I still miss you a lot

I am still feeling Cookie miss you as well, so I even miss you more.

Back to where I used to be

Sorry all,

I didn't have mood to write these days....

I guess I am being stupid. Please forgive me.

I will be back in a day or days.... or in a week or weeks... Please wait.

Percy

Thank God

Dear God,



Thank you for giving me opportunities to talk to my brothers. He needs to let it out, and here I am for him. THank you.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to get mad. That means I still care.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to have interivews. That means I am still useful.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to learn things I like. That means I still keep my dream alive!

Thank you for giving me opportunities to have emotions. That means I still have the freedom.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to write them out....

Mr. Right? Ms Right?

你相信「Mr. Right /Ms. Right」存在，還是「Mr. Rights/Ms Rights」存在？ 也就是說理想的伴侶真的就那麼一個嗎？還是有很多個呢？ 往往許多人在抉擇伴侶時，容易東想西想，不知所措，就是因為害怕一時做錯決定，看錯人，造成終生的遺憾。

諾貝爾文學獎得主蕭伯納說：「此時此刻在地球上，約有兩萬個人適合當你的人生伴侶，就看你先遇到哪一個，如果在第二個理想伴侶出現之前，你已經跟前一個人發展出相知相惜、互相信賴的深層關係，那後者就會變成你的好朋友，但是若你跟前一個人沒有培養出深層關係，感情就容易動搖、變心，直到你與這些理想伴侶候選人的其中一位擁有穩固的深情，才是幸福的開始，漂泊的結束。」

愛上一個人不需要靠努力，只需要靠「際遇」，是上天的安排，但是「持續地愛一個人」就要靠「努力」，在愛情的經營中，順暢運轉的要素就是溝通、體諒、包容與自制(面臨誘惑有所自制)。有許多人總是為「際遇」所迷惑與苦惱，意念不停、慾念不斷、爭逐不散，而忘了培養經營感情的能力才是幸福的關鍵。

所以不要去追問到底誰才是我的Mr. Right/Ms Right，而是要問說在眼前的伴侶關係中，我能努力到什麼程度、成長到什麼程度，若沒有培養出經營幸福的能力，就算真的Mr.Right出現在你身邊，幸福依然會錯過的，而活在猶疑與遺憾當中，這不就是許多「愛情虛無症」的遭遇與心態嗎？

若你此刻已有一位長久相伴的伴侶，不要再隨便三心二意地猶疑了，我們往往不易察覺感情中的一個陷阱，就是「近親生慢侮」，也就是經濟學中的鐵律「邊際效益遞減法則」，跟你在一起越久的人，就越容易麻木與忽視，而新鮮的「際遇」總是那麼動人可愛。

在感情對待中，難免有摩擦與無心的傷害，而且論得罪自己的次數累加起來最多的人，當然是跟我們在一起最久、最親近的人；而新歡呢，又還沒開始有得罪你的機會，再加上他的刻意討好，所以新歡怎麼看怎麼可愛，舊愛怎麼看怎麼討厭。但別忘了，新歡身上總是有不確定的未知數，舊愛身上就是有難得的熟悉感、 確定感、信賴感。

千萬不要隨便在偶然的「際遇」中迷失了自己，錯放了幸福溫暖的手。所以蕭伯納的話，是要提醒情人不要太鑽牛角尖於尋覓那唯一，應該把精神用在學會經營幸福的能力上，同時也提醒我們「溺水三千　只取一瓢飲」。

若有幸遇到了難得的伴侶，就不要再三心二意了，因為我們永遠不知道一生何時會遇到兩萬個其中的幾個，所以要知福惜福、活在當下。

Love is...

「愛是一種態度，願為憂傷的靈和絕望的心祈禱；愛是對別人的有所收穫而心存善意，愛是對弟兄犯的錯誤心存忍耐。」

愛是有實際行動的信心

"dean" ed!

I sometimes think the "dean" ed thing is God gives me too many opportunities. Of coz I would like to have more choices, but I am a kind who is too lazy to choose. It is the best God choose it for me.

School to study,
Field to work,
Job to do,
Work to do first,
Place to live,
Friends to care,
Relationship to be serious,
Value to keep,
Money to spend...

All these I am glad to have the above to choose, but I only want the choice God planned for me. I am afraid to make the wrong choices. Of coz a lot of people say it is ok to make the wrong choice, but I don't want to waste time and energy to fix the result. Just give me the choice God wants me to pick.... *Sigh*..

Sound very lazy? hahaah! I know ... I am. Life is just driving me NUT!

Right now... I have to learn how NOT to concentrate into ONE person.I mean... I am gifted by God's glory, and I would like to give my LOVE to people I care. Hope this "Love" and that "Love" can be seperated!

Thank you God for giving me all these good things in my life. I am very appreciated about it. Weather is changing all the time, and I have been coughing and dizzy BIG time. Hope things will get even better...

Family, Friends, Job, Relationship, pets are those important for me. =)

My little prayer to Lord on Nov 16 2007

Dear Lord,

Thank you for giving me some quiet time at home. Please forgive me not to attend fellowship. I don't want to meet people. I am sorry, My Lord. Please forgive me being lazy lately.

My heavenly father, I miss Boy jai. Please help me. I came home, finished my dinner (that I didn't want to eat at first, but I told myself that I HAD TO eat something), watched TV, finished my novel reading and I went towards to the piano. I started to play that song again. The song Boy jai loved to listen to it. Whenever I played it, he would came closed to my seat and lied down on the floor. I only remembered this song. I didn't remember the whole song, but I just repeatly played whatever I remembered.

my Lord, I need to learn how to let go. I need to learn how to learn on my own life. I need to learn how to be independent. I need to learn how to be patience. I need to learn how to be nice to others. I need to learn how to calm down myself. I need to learn how to be brave and not to cry. I need to learn how to be myself.

You are my light, my guide and my path. Please walk with me, please lead me, please carry me. Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I shouldn't have anything. Please Lord, help me... I am in my depression mode again. I am scared. I am worried. I love you, Lord. Please tell me what I need to do.

When I pray for love, you give me opportunity to love. When I pray for sympathy, you give me opportunity to be taken care of. When I pray for couragement, you give me opportunity to strengthen myself. My dear Lord, please let me learn. I still have a lot to learn. Please be with me. I can't walk this journey without you.

I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ.
~Amen.

Blue Sky covered by Clouds...

Am I putting too much pressure on myself?

My sky is blue, but it is covered by loads of clouds... I believe the clouds will go away, take some times. I believe God planned the good things to me. I would not give up this truth.

Honestly, the grey clouds period is very hard to pass through... Especially, I am by myself... no one can help me.

For the friends who read my blog(s), please pray for me. I am at the corner again.

Can you miss me more?

I believe a lot of people are selfish.
Selfish bcoz they don't want to get hurt, want to protect themselves...

I do the same thing.

I keep telling myself NOT to be selfish, but end up I spend more ways to protect myself.

I really want to be with you, at the same time, I am being selfish bcoz I am thinking it is not a game, but a commitment.

A lot of people told me that they don't understand my blogs. They found very hard to follow my thoughts to understand the stuffs. I accepted the comments, and I would kept it this way. Simple mind didn't mean with simple expressions. Just bcoz too much want to express... end up jumping back and forth. This is one of the selfish way to protect myself. =)

I sometimes think if you can miss me more, care me more, LOVE me more... then I won't get too selfish on my behalf.

I should learn NOT to be selfish, and NOT to lose the protection at the same time.

Do you understand what am I talking about? Yeah, it is ok for you NOT to understand, bcoz you are not Perz =)

Bad King, Bad Boy!!!!

I copied and pasted from my Brother's blog. Dam! King, you made me cry BIG TIME!!!!


10月29日
To Boy Jai
昨晚看完星屑醫生的 “這醫生很潮”, 有感而發﹐ 所以以他的其中一篇為藍圖﹐ 寫了以下的。。。。

給朋友的信

2007年10月5日早上, 你變回天使了

以前即使給你看我的blog, 甚至面對面同你講﹐ 你也不會懂。 現在你變回天使﹐ 應該看得懂我的文字﹐ 聽得懂我的說話吧!

我想你一定是天使變的。 你本來就是天使﹐ 可能在天堂裡面做錯事﹐ 被罰到這個世界。 但我相信你做錯的並非大壞事﹐ 否則我怎可能會這麼幸運的成為你的 “舅父” 。 回想最初你剛來我家時﹐ 你只有一塊地板階磚般大的身體﹐我想你並不難照顧﹐ 但是你就好似識變魔術般﹐ 只用小於一個月的時間就變成一隻 “羊” 。 實在百思不得其解。 我從來未見過其他狗比你喜歡食雪﹐只要我走近糧罃﹐你就知道我會做甚麼。 你就是這麼聰明。 比其他狗還要醒目﹐識得坐低﹐訓低﹐仲會扮死。 比好多其他狗本事﹐竟然可以做到 “醫生”。你竟然比我還早達到呢個目標。 你真係好叻。 所以我越想﹐就越覺得你是上帝派給我們一家的一份禮物。 是你令我家有好多歡樂愉快的時光﹐多謝你!

我常說自己多幸福。 因為有好多人愛我﹐關心我﹐照顧我﹐連你也毫無條件的愛護我。 由我中學開始﹐上大學﹐大學畢業﹐由香港返黎考MCAT﹐你都在我家。 我快樂﹐不快樂﹐都有你和我分享。 每當我坐在樓梯發呆﹐思考﹐煩惱的時候﹐你也會靜靜的行到我身邊坐下﹐然後用鼓勵的眼神望著我﹐就像對我說﹐ “不用擔心! 凡事都有解決的方法。” 冬天的時候﹐每晚當我拖著疲倦的身體會到我的房間﹐亮了我的房燈﹐都會看見你像剛剛睡醒般睡在我的床上。 我當然明白啦! 你一定知我怕冷﹐所以常常把床睡暖等我回來。 我懷念這段逝去的快樂時光﹐實在感激你陪了我家這短短的九年。 雖然你也有頑皮的時候﹐時常偷偷食一些對你有害的東西﹐可能因為偷食太多﹐所以身體漸漸邊差吧。

你堅強的撐著直到家姐回家陪你。 相信你到最後也有一段好時光吧。 到最後﹐家姐陪伴下﹐你安祥的離開﹐相信你不是太辛苦吧! 見你離開時沒有痛苦﹐我也各得安慰。 在此希望你原諒我。 到最後一刻﹐我都不能在你身邊陪伴你﹐相信你多少也不高興吧! 對不起! 是我背叛了你。 我選擇留在外地﹐不能陪你走你生命的最後﹐相信是我一生的遺憾。 但是希望你會原諒我﹐可以嗎? 同時希望你會明白呢封信的思念。 當我知道你已回天家﹐我靜靜的向你道別。 記住啦! 到了天家﹐要好好守規矩。 不要再做錯事。 好好幫我同我家看守在天上的家﹐學習打理葡萄園。 將來終有一天﹐我們回到天家﹐大家便可以再見。 我承諾我會好好的疼你。你餓﹐我會給你糧食。 你悶﹐我會陪你玩。 你倦﹐我會陪你休息。 你的毛長了﹐我會好好把你清潔﹐剪毛﹐扮靚。到時可以一起種葡萄﹐然後用來釀酒供應愛延﹐永遠快樂。

Boy Jai, 我會卦念你。 在這刻我十分懷念你在我的床上望著我﹐十分懷念你的體溫。 想到你如果可以再在我面前﹐給我機會好好撫摸你的臉﹐用手掃你的毛。 這刻﹐鼻子有點酸﹐眼有點水汪汪的。 最後﹐雖然你常常聽我唱歌﹐可能已經聽膩了。 但是我還是想最後一次送一首歌給你。

Tears in Heaven

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on.
‘cause I know I don’t belong, here in heaven’

Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way, through night and day,
‘cause I know I just can’t stay, here in heaven’

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees,
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please…

Beyond the door, there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more, tears in heaven

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on.
‘cause I know I don’t belong, here in heaven

多謝你﹐ Boy Jai (1998.10.05 ~ 2007.10.05), 天家再見

Who is Andrew Lin? This is Andrew Lin

I wish I can find someone like him... Talented, smart, handsome, funny...


From what I know:
He doesn't talk much
He works hard
He plays hard
He loves his wife very much...

Somethings important to me:

He is Tall, thick eyeblows with ROOT of beard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is like ALL in ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*faint*

Happy Moment

MSN is not only for friends or family who is far away from you. Even couple feet, you can tell them how much you miss them. hahaahaa!!



Sometimes you just can't believe what you see....

Happy moment may just only flash by, so you are lucky if you capture the moment.

I believe everyone can create your own happy moment.

I did, did you?

Cheap Cheap Cheap

There are somethings I do will lower my reputation.

Swear in the public
Hang out with "not-so cool" people
Eating with my mouth open
No eye contact to the people I am talking to
Yell at others
Give others my bad attitudes

The worse one should be:
keep calling someone who may not really like me.

You may think it is not the worse one, it is to me. I have pride to myself and I try to act a value person. I mean, I try to take care of my reputation as I don't want to look cheap, talk cheap and act cheap.

Honestly, I don't want to call you up when we promise not to contact each other. I guess, I can't stand the time being apart. I try to contact you, but you have no intention to call back Oh well... I guess I am being cheap now. I guess I shouldn't put myself in such bad position. Oh well... I already did.

Time goes FAST!

YCF 2007. (5 years promise)
Third row (from Left to Right) Jackie, Terry, Mavien, WingWing, Steph
Second row (from Left to Right) Andrew, Alice, Sandy, Raymond, Eugene, V8,Clara, Anna, Anjo
Front row (from Left to Right) me, Sao, Dave, J Lo, Sel Wan, J, Dai Lo Chris, Bonnie

10th Richmond Hill Scout Group 2007 (Seven years commitment)

Top row (from Left to Right) All scouts

Middle row (from Left to Right) All Cubs (included cub leaders)

Bottom row (from Left to Right) All beavers (included Peter)

VY (6 years enjoyment)

Gold DEA Ceremony @ War Memorial Museum, Ottawa

Gold DEA receivers: VY Gold.... (my teens) heheehehe!
...

I love my life. I Love Canada! I love you, LORD!

still a long way to go... i need your support!!!

You may find that I didn't write for a number of days.

I still to have a BIG book beside me now. I wrote things down there but not all on here. I am going to publish a book of BOy jai. Would you support me?

If you support me, please drop me a word... I want to see if there is enough people or not.

I am thinking about the Money will goes to animal society or Canine Cancer reserach Association.

I know I still have a long way to go.... Dreams are still on. Come true or not is not matter. It is about the process.

DAMN, STOP hurting animals!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=s0KucYppXO0

If you love Animals, don't watch it.

How many times I told people NOT to get the pets from Pet shops or pet mills. How can the people be so MEAN to the animals.

I don't blame the murders killed the people and dump their bodies in the wild. They are cold blooded and no feeling to another ling organisms.

Oh Shit!! I even don't like human more....

I should find a way to help the animals out.... DAM! am I extreme or what?

get back into one piece...

It is almost 3 weeks that I didn't post anything on here.

Thank you to all my friends. I am ok. Not as upset as what I expected. I guessed that would come one day. God took Boy jai fast and quick, without pain. That was my blessing.

Life is so wonderful. I mean... I see the changes in the past week. I was empty and lonely. Now I found myself some happiness. I am still very insecure... so... Don't ask me yet... but... I am enjoying my life at this moment.

I am so glad to have someone to share my feeling with. Hope it becomes true...

No matter I found my real one or not.... I am sure ... the following gal would like to share with me.

Thank you, Kristen (and Karissa) for being with me right after they knew my loss of Boy jai. I love them since I met them. They are my sisters, as well as my friends.

Don't worry. I will be ok. Need sometimes to reorganize my life....

You are already missed

You just don't know how many people miss you...

Boy jai, it is your 9th Birthday today. Happy Birthday!

As I told you before you closed your eyes: Run, go to the RAINBOW BRIDGE and wait for me there. I will see you later.

Please don't lie to me...

Good Lord is helping me.
Protecting the most important thing of me is actually making people tell the truth.

I have met a guy, who is very kind to me but end up he lied to me. I felt so stupid to trust him at all. On the other hand, once again... it shows human beings are not worth to trust. How can I trust anyone anymore?? How can I believe in anyone? Can someone prove that I can trust someone?


At my age, I believe that I should not trust anyone easily, but this is me. This is real me. Am I lack of something to live in this world by myself? There are a lot of people out there pity me and say to me that they will protect me.

I was eaten by an innocent looked animal. What the hell...??

Good Lord protects me as well.

PS: Please don't hurt my feeling anymore... it is too fragile to be hurt again... I am scared...

Happy Happy Day

I am very happy today. I don't know why...


Just let you know ... I guess... I start to discover the good side of myself.=)

Please share my happiness with me. Please do so...

Thank God for giving me the magic buttom

Thank God for letting me to hear his whinning still
Thank God for letting me to feel his heart beat still
Thank God for letting me to walk him from place to place still
Thank God for letting me to stop the arguement between Cookie and Boy Jai still
Thank God for letting me to watch him drinking stil
Thank God for letting me to sense he came into the room and sleep beside me still
Thank God for letting me to understand life is very fragile still
Thank God for letting me to receive the request from him who wants more food still
Thank God for letting me to have a gift of GOD in all these years still
Thank God for letting me to write on here to tell everyone Boy jai is stable under my care still

When I touch his hands, he wakes up and gives me a disgusting look. Just like a magic buttom to wake him up.
Please God to walk with me, IF there is no more response by pressing the magic buttom in the future, please comfort me and give me strength to face the reality. I know I won't be able to walk this journey without you.

It's time

Last friday (Sept 28th) I took Boy jai and Cookie to the off leash park. There were so many dogs running around.

Boy jai choose not to run but walk with me. I asked him walk around by himself. He listened. He really does listened. I left him and I walked towards the shelter, I turned around and I saw him looked at him sit down and seemed like asking for help. He didn't scream nor call out for help. He knew I would come to him. I ran to him and asked him what happened. He looked at him sliently and didn't bark or a word. He just looked at me.

I lifted his back up and he started to walk with me to the shelter, very very slow... very slow...

This morning, Ka Ho left home to work. I heard the barking while I was sleeping. I thought I had a dream or something; I heard the barking again. I knew it was Boy jai's. I called Boy jai, no foot steps or anything; I called again, I heard the barking, I started to search the house non-sensely, I lost the dog?? I lost the dog at home? what the....?

I turned on all the light, and I searched the house. After looking for different area, and I still couldn't find Boy jai. I thought Ka Ho left him outside, and I looked the direction of patio door. I saw the shadow of Boy jai. "Ah! Ka Ho left him outside?" When I walked closed to the patio door, I saw Boy jai was actually INSIDE, with both leg split open lied down on his belly position. I saw a lot of dog posted like this, but I never Boy jai did that in his life. Something went wrong... something went very very wrong....

I lifted up Boy jai's back, and opened the door for him. I realized that he had no power on his rear legs. Something I crossed my mind..."It's time?"

He came back up from the backyard, it seems like he put a lot of efforts to go down those stairs and he was being lazy to walk back up.

Vet told me, when his time is up I would know... I asked the vet how would I know, she said "If I love him enough, I would know..."

I think it really his time up and I really think I have to learn how to let go. Friends, would you support me? I am crying and I am directionless.

Dear God, please walk with me. please walk this road together. I don't need you to carry me. I have to learn how to face the truth. please take all the pain from Boy jai. Please let him be one of the most luckiest dog in the world.

Personal DNA

You are a Thinker

Your cautiousness, appreciation of functionality, and imagination combine to make you a THINKER.
You have a vivid capacity for imagery that allows you to see beyond your present circumstances.
You like to be sure of yourself before voicing your opinion.
A lot of your time is spent at home, or with the people you care about.
Although you may dream often, you're very aware of how things work, and you value things that work well.
You take comfort in the familiar, and value predictability—and others value those things in you.
Accordingly, you prefer a set routine, and although you often imagine how things can be different, you're hesitant to take risks to change things.
Sometimes you doubt whether you have the ability to face certain challenges, but your practical focus helps you solve most problems.
Because of this, you tend to be more reactive than proactive, thinking thoroughly about the challenges that you face.
You have a broad-based, theoretical understanding of the world that allows you to understand its workings.
You're well-attuned to your emotional state, and not afraid to use your feelings to guide you. You tend to be cooperative, rarely contradicting others, and always considerate of their feelings.
You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.
You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.


how you relate to others
You are Encouraging
Your outgoing nature, understanding of others, and directness make you ENCOURAGING.
You want others to do well for themselves, and you generally believe in their abilities.
You often know what's good for people because of your caring nature and your worldview.
When you care about someone, you don't keep it to yourself: you are good at letting people know that you're thinking of them.
Because you trust people, you take violations of that trust very seriously.
You thrive in social situations, and even though you know who you like and who you don't like, you can interact well with many different types of people.
You have a healthy respect for people who have earned what they have, and you strive to be similar to successful others.
You are a loyal friend and a good listener.

Anthony Wong

黃秋生看很多書，他形容自己是很普通的讀者，但就是甚麼也會看過究竟的人，他喜歡閱讀帶來的悅愉和滿足，但卻不認同單憑知識就可以改變一切，始終要真實地、踏實地幹一次，走一回，你才能明白一切。

　「很多時候，你看書，其實是在看自己，把自己確認、建立、修正，世界上是沒有一本書可以告訴你所有答案，反而可能是給與你更多問題，令你思考，繼而成長、進步。」　黃秋生強調。

閱讀自己
　　「我很害怕那些被宣傳成甚麼完全了解和解構人生的書籍，我不是完全不認同內裡的說法，只是我不認為世界上會有這樣的一本書出現。人生多變無常，又怎能用有限的文字去解析內裡乾坤呢？到底用怎樣的一本書去形容人生呢？對好學的人是百科全書，對基督徒是聖經，但我自己覺得閱讀，倒是一種令我對資訊吞吐的行為，不會在一時三刻很有效地交給我一些甚麼，而是會在自己無法預計的時候，以靈光一閃的方法提醒我，而當中甚至也不涉內容，反而是一些我憑藉看書而產生的聯想，有助豐富或改善我自己的思考方法。」　　

秋生一口氣說出自己對閱讀所立下的定位。他繼而笑起來談到，無法接受一些人說甚麼看了一本書，令自己生命和做人完全改善過來這種說法。「你無法逃避。要認知清楚，你只有在有可能的情況下去嘗試，讀萬卷書不如行萬里路，是千真萬確的一回事。」秋生說罷很有魅力地笑著。　　是的，就像喝酒一樣，即使你把一切資料也背誦得徹底，但若你沒有親口品嘗過，感受過酒精令

自己皮膚微燙，腦際搖撼的昇華感，你不會表達得出令人感動和吸引的態度來，不喝酒的人去談論酒，真是上帝也會發笑吧。　　秋生讓我這樣形容，笑容更深︰「但也有好處的，若你是個虛心的人的話，你會藉此知道自己是多麼的無知，快去好好補習進修自我吧！」

怎樣的城市有怎樣的書
　　「若香港是一本書？那一定是一本普通的港式製作漫畫，外表好像是金碧輝煌，但你打開會發現名副其實敗絮其中，是一本劇本糟糕，欠缺完善資料搜集，荒誕不已的抄襲之作。怎樣的城市，就有怎樣書。你看看香港的書店……我們可以擁有一間台灣的『誠品書店』嗎？我們可以有一個美好安靜的閱讀環境嗎？作家的修養和視野 OK 嗎？出版社的動機和抱負清晰嗎？讀者的要求和對文字的專重又足夠嗎？那些腐敗不堪的色情低俗八卦雜誌，已將整個城市污染得很厲害。」　　秋生說到這裡，從我們拍攝和訪問地方的玻璃窗看出去，漫天污雲密佈，是暴雨警告剛除下的午後。　　

「真是颳大風也吹不散這些污雲啊！」秋生很無奈地說，目光從灰色的天際移向海岸線上，輕輕搖頭。「暫時根本不可能有吧，像台灣或是國內的閱讀氣氛……你看看政府高官們正在做甚麼呢？一個『西九』已經教我憤怒不已了。所謂文藝發展規劃，其實可以好簡單，因為香港一早就存在！只要從中環大會堂開始，建設通道、平台、天橋，沿海把演藝學院、藝術中心、會展聯合起來，已經就是整個香港的藝術表演精英所渴求的表現環境了！根本不用浪費這麼多金錢去發展『西九』，而且還要做了這麼久卻一事無成，換轉其他地方我好相信已經建設完成了。最無奈是說要外國人來設下一座美術館，說是可以吸引遊客，要看那些美術館，人家的國土內早有十座八座，他們看過了紐約的「大都會」、巴黎的「羅浮宮」，為甚麼要來香港看一座展示西方藝術作品的美術館？真是很幼稚的思維！他們是想看我們本身的香港文化，但利舞台卻已被毀滅！連中環街市也說要拆掉變成商業大廈。好了，這裡會有甚麼的氣氛去孕育閱讀的風氣呢？教你如何變成功人仕、投資理財的書，始終是存在暢銷書榜的前列位置。也許有人會覺得我意見多，但若真相並非這樣，就請拿文明來說服我。」　　

一滴雨水落在玻璃上，繼而接連不絕，水滴慢慢滑落化成大片水漬，秋生說罷，一直在看著窗外。　　「所謂閱讀，並不是為了甚麼目的，就是單純的去看，而漸漸你會發現到更了解自己。透過文字把你帶到從未想過的空間裡，而內裡有解析，又或是靈感，一切還得看你自己。」總給人一份神秘感的秋生，很意味深長地說著，近日正全神貫注看《資治通鑑》的他，坦言生活簡單卻無比充實，工作、看書，和家人在一起，一個質素優良的循環，他非常享受。　　

「只要你了解自己，你會懂得找甚麼書來看，而書看得多，你會愈了解自己，發現自己，在這個循環裡，不斷令自己有更多體驗。」　　當然，勉強摘下的果子不一定是甜的。秋生這句說話，明白的該已明白，不明白的，就不要勉強好了，唯有如此。

(Text from http://hk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/060929/254/1vikz.html)