我有共鳴﹗

I was reading Matt's blog (http://www.unklebeach.blogspot.com/) He brought up my question as well.

How many people are actually reading what I am writing? There are just not many comment on here. What the...???

To be honest, I am not writing this bcoz of you all. I have difficulties to express myself in person. This is one ways I can let others understand me. As I remembered, I didn't let anyone know about this blog until 6 months after I started. I was too chicken to tell the world I have this BLOG. But then... I will think ... I am Percy Chan... what can stop me? heeheheheeh! I shouldn't be the chicken shit.... but the brave person to tell people what I think.

Come on, when you want to leave the comment, just leave it. You don't need to MSN me... nor email me about it. Just LEAVE IT!

JUST DO IT, my friends.

Free Dinner!

I was not planning to go out for dinner.

Thank you Paulo for saying that he would paid for me. I wouldn't mind to hang out with my friends for couple more hours. End up, I was so regreted!!!!!!

I used to eat a lot of Spicy food, not that I loved them, but proving I would be able to eat them. I honestly didn't like spicy. it killed my tastebuds. According to my Senior moment memories, I didn't eat spicy spicy food for "LONG" time. Here I was, in a Szechun restaurant with my friends.

Please NOT to think those were worms. They were not worms at all, but HOT CHILLY PEPPERS. Yeah, it was the whole freaking dish of hot pepper with a few nail size chicken in it. When the waitress placed the dish on our table, I already knew it must be freaking HOT. It spiced my nose badly. Of coz I didn't mind to eat them, it didn't matter what we were eating, I was enjoying the time with my friends.

*sigh*, that was good but once again, SPICY! The whole bowl was RED! .... What could I say? "eat it!" Actually, that wasn't too bad compared with the "worm-like" hot pepper with Popcorn chicken.

Of coz, I gotta tried them.



By looking at my face, you would know how much I wanted to eat it. Oh well... forget it. I was pretending. I loved this dish actually.

This was my Savior of the dinner. End up I got stomache (I had it before I went to dinner, and even worse after those two red dishes). Good that I had a glass of soya milk. Thank God.

Actually, I had more than 2 glasses of soya milk. The main reason was my stomache.

Once again, Thank you Paulo for paying me this dinner. I am gonna kick your ass, man!

Conclusion: Make sure what you are going to eat even friend is paying you. heeheheehe! Just kidding. I actually enjoyed the dinner! Thank you, Paulo.

Mad at HIM

Dear God,

I am sorry. I was mad at you. I didn't mean to yell at you. I was upset. I was very upset. Why do you need me go through all these? How come you need me work on all these difficulties??? How come you want me to take care all these? I just don't know how to react with all these problems. Sorry, God. I shouldn't get mad. This is an opportunities to grow up. Please forgive me. Please lead me the road.

Thank you for letting me let it out. I am very sorry. Please keep walking the road with me as well as Ka Ho.

I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ. ~Amen.

生活可以快樂點

Thank you Esther for sending me the following.

心裡清澄, 不畏人言. 要記住[來說是非者, 便是是非人.]!
口說好話, 心想好意, 身行好事.
脾氣嘴巴不好,
心地再好也不能算是好人.
靜坐常思己過, 閒談莫論人非.
要批評別人時, 先想想自己是否完美無缺.
待人退一步, 愛人寬一吋,
就會活得很快樂.
共勉之! : )

What do I like? humm..........

Everyone loves presents. New Year gifts, Valentine's gifts, Birthday gifts, Anniversary gifts, Easter gifts, Thanksgiving gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. Wow!!! There are so many gifts.

I also love gifts, but not holiday gifts. Holiday gifts mean gift you only receive during those specific holiday. Not that I don't like them, but I see them as "No heart gift". I receive them bcoz of the holiday, not bcoz of the passion from the sender, and the love of the sender.

Friends who know me, they either just gathering together with me during those special days or give me gifts with their thoughts.

I don't like fancy gifts, I have too many stuffs at home, don't want to have more junks around me. I don't like expensive gifts, I have to take extra care of them. I will be very "sun fu" as I am a very careless person.

(This is Jay from my fellowship. This gives me headache to carry all things at once)

I like the gift that inspire you to think of me. I like the gift that touch my heart. I like the gift that satisfy what I need (not what I want). I like the gift that inspire me to think of you whenever I see it. I like the gift that is not expensive so you don't need to waste your money.

(I like these sets of Michelin's figures. It is special edition of cross over M & Kot's design)

When people ask me, "what do you like for this day?"... I usually say, "No preference". It is true. If you know me more deeper, you know I like to buy stuffs during normal days. I will be ware when you need something. I maynot be able to buy it right the way, but I know that is something I can get to make you happy.

Gift is not usually expensive called PRESENT. Even a little thing can touch me a lot and warm my heart BIG time. It is all about "HEART". Don't you think so?

People, Life, Thankful...

I got this chain letter in Facebook. Thought worth to share with you all. Enjoy.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you
know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is
in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They
may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need
them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient
time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and
force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to
share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an
unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build
upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the
lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but
friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season
or a lifetime.

Boy, Miss you...

I know after I have a job, I will miss you less.

I know after I start my relationship on track, I will miss you less.

I know after I keep myself busy, I will miss you less.

I know after I time goes by, I will miss you less.

I know after I focus on something else, I will miss you less.

I know after I concern more about Cookie, I miss you less.

BUT...

I am still looking for job, so I still miss you a lot

I am still searching for the right track in my relationship, so I still miss you a lot

I am still super smart and multi-tasking, so I still miss you a lot

I am still living in a lot of memories, so I still miss you a lot

I am still focus on you, so I still miss you a lot

I am still feeling Cookie miss you as well, so I even miss you more.

Back to where I used to be

Sorry all,

I didn't have mood to write these days....

I guess I am being stupid. Please forgive me.

I will be back in a day or days.... or in a week or weeks... Please wait.

Percy

Thank God

Dear God,



Thank you for giving me opportunities to talk to my brothers. He needs to let it out, and here I am for him. THank you.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to get mad. That means I still care.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to have interivews. That means I am still useful.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to learn things I like. That means I still keep my dream alive!

Thank you for giving me opportunities to have emotions. That means I still have the freedom.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to write them out....

Mr. Right? Ms Right?

你相信「Mr. Right /Ms. Right」存在，還是「Mr. Rights/Ms Rights」存在？ 也就是說理想的伴侶真的就那麼一個嗎？還是有很多個呢？ 往往許多人在抉擇伴侶時，容易東想西想，不知所措，就是因為害怕一時做錯決定，看錯人，造成終生的遺憾。

諾貝爾文學獎得主蕭伯納說：「此時此刻在地球上，約有兩萬個人適合當你的人生伴侶，就看你先遇到哪一個，如果在第二個理想伴侶出現之前，你已經跟前一個人發展出相知相惜、互相信賴的深層關係，那後者就會變成你的好朋友，但是若你跟前一個人沒有培養出深層關係，感情就容易動搖、變心，直到你與這些理想伴侶候選人的其中一位擁有穩固的深情，才是幸福的開始，漂泊的結束。」

愛上一個人不需要靠努力，只需要靠「際遇」，是上天的安排，但是「持續地愛一個人」就要靠「努力」，在愛情的經營中，順暢運轉的要素就是溝通、體諒、包容與自制(面臨誘惑有所自制)。有許多人總是為「際遇」所迷惑與苦惱，意念不停、慾念不斷、爭逐不散，而忘了培養經營感情的能力才是幸福的關鍵。

所以不要去追問到底誰才是我的Mr. Right/Ms Right，而是要問說在眼前的伴侶關係中，我能努力到什麼程度、成長到什麼程度，若沒有培養出經營幸福的能力，就算真的Mr.Right出現在你身邊，幸福依然會錯過的，而活在猶疑與遺憾當中，這不就是許多「愛情虛無症」的遭遇與心態嗎？

若你此刻已有一位長久相伴的伴侶，不要再隨便三心二意地猶疑了，我們往往不易察覺感情中的一個陷阱，就是「近親生慢侮」，也就是經濟學中的鐵律「邊際效益遞減法則」，跟你在一起越久的人，就越容易麻木與忽視，而新鮮的「際遇」總是那麼動人可愛。

在感情對待中，難免有摩擦與無心的傷害，而且論得罪自己的次數累加起來最多的人，當然是跟我們在一起最久、最親近的人；而新歡呢，又還沒開始有得罪你的機會，再加上他的刻意討好，所以新歡怎麼看怎麼可愛，舊愛怎麼看怎麼討厭。但別忘了，新歡身上總是有不確定的未知數，舊愛身上就是有難得的熟悉感、 確定感、信賴感。

千萬不要隨便在偶然的「際遇」中迷失了自己，錯放了幸福溫暖的手。所以蕭伯納的話，是要提醒情人不要太鑽牛角尖於尋覓那唯一，應該把精神用在學會經營幸福的能力上，同時也提醒我們「溺水三千　只取一瓢飲」。

若有幸遇到了難得的伴侶，就不要再三心二意了，因為我們永遠不知道一生何時會遇到兩萬個其中的幾個，所以要知福惜福、活在當下。

Love is...

「愛是一種態度，願為憂傷的靈和絕望的心祈禱；愛是對別人的有所收穫而心存善意，愛是對弟兄犯的錯誤心存忍耐。」

愛是有實際行動的信心

"dean" ed!

I sometimes think the "dean" ed thing is God gives me too many opportunities. Of coz I would like to have more choices, but I am a kind who is too lazy to choose. It is the best God choose it for me.

School to study,
Field to work,
Job to do,
Work to do first,
Place to live,
Friends to care,
Relationship to be serious,
Value to keep,
Money to spend...

All these I am glad to have the above to choose, but I only want the choice God planned for me. I am afraid to make the wrong choices. Of coz a lot of people say it is ok to make the wrong choice, but I don't want to waste time and energy to fix the result. Just give me the choice God wants me to pick.... *Sigh*..

Sound very lazy? hahaah! I know ... I am. Life is just driving me NUT!

Right now... I have to learn how NOT to concentrate into ONE person.I mean... I am gifted by God's glory, and I would like to give my LOVE to people I care. Hope this "Love" and that "Love" can be seperated!

Thank you God for giving me all these good things in my life. I am very appreciated about it. Weather is changing all the time, and I have been coughing and dizzy BIG time. Hope things will get even better...

Family, Friends, Job, Relationship, pets are those important for me. =)

My little prayer to Lord on Nov 16 2007

Dear Lord,

Thank you for giving me some quiet time at home. Please forgive me not to attend fellowship. I don't want to meet people. I am sorry, My Lord. Please forgive me being lazy lately.

My heavenly father, I miss Boy jai. Please help me. I came home, finished my dinner (that I didn't want to eat at first, but I told myself that I HAD TO eat something), watched TV, finished my novel reading and I went towards to the piano. I started to play that song again. The song Boy jai loved to listen to it. Whenever I played it, he would came closed to my seat and lied down on the floor. I only remembered this song. I didn't remember the whole song, but I just repeatly played whatever I remembered.

my Lord, I need to learn how to let go. I need to learn how to learn on my own life. I need to learn how to be independent. I need to learn how to be patience. I need to learn how to be nice to others. I need to learn how to calm down myself. I need to learn how to be brave and not to cry. I need to learn how to be myself.

You are my light, my guide and my path. Please walk with me, please lead me, please carry me. Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I shouldn't have anything. Please Lord, help me... I am in my depression mode again. I am scared. I am worried. I love you, Lord. Please tell me what I need to do.

When I pray for love, you give me opportunity to love. When I pray for sympathy, you give me opportunity to be taken care of. When I pray for couragement, you give me opportunity to strengthen myself. My dear Lord, please let me learn. I still have a lot to learn. Please be with me. I can't walk this journey without you.

I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ.
~Amen.

Blue Sky covered by Clouds...

Am I putting too much pressure on myself?

My sky is blue, but it is covered by loads of clouds... I believe the clouds will go away, take some times. I believe God planned the good things to me. I would not give up this truth.

Honestly, the grey clouds period is very hard to pass through... Especially, I am by myself... no one can help me.

For the friends who read my blog(s), please pray for me. I am at the corner again.

Can you miss me more?

I believe a lot of people are selfish.
Selfish bcoz they don't want to get hurt, want to protect themselves...

I do the same thing.

I keep telling myself NOT to be selfish, but end up I spend more ways to protect myself.

I really want to be with you, at the same time, I am being selfish bcoz I am thinking it is not a game, but a commitment.

A lot of people told me that they don't understand my blogs. They found very hard to follow my thoughts to understand the stuffs. I accepted the comments, and I would kept it this way. Simple mind didn't mean with simple expressions. Just bcoz too much want to express... end up jumping back and forth. This is one of the selfish way to protect myself. =)

I sometimes think if you can miss me more, care me more, LOVE me more... then I won't get too selfish on my behalf.

I should learn NOT to be selfish, and NOT to lose the protection at the same time.

Do you understand what am I talking about? Yeah, it is ok for you NOT to understand, bcoz you are not Perz =)

Bad King, Bad Boy!!!!

I copied and pasted from my Brother's blog. Dam! King, you made me cry BIG TIME!!!!


10月29日
To Boy Jai
昨晚看完星屑醫生的 “這醫生很潮”, 有感而發﹐ 所以以他的其中一篇為藍圖﹐ 寫了以下的。。。。

給朋友的信

2007年10月5日早上, 你變回天使了

以前即使給你看我的blog, 甚至面對面同你講﹐ 你也不會懂。 現在你變回天使﹐ 應該看得懂我的文字﹐ 聽得懂我的說話吧!

我想你一定是天使變的。 你本來就是天使﹐ 可能在天堂裡面做錯事﹐ 被罰到這個世界。 但我相信你做錯的並非大壞事﹐ 否則我怎可能會這麼幸運的成為你的 “舅父” 。 回想最初你剛來我家時﹐ 你只有一塊地板階磚般大的身體﹐我想你並不難照顧﹐ 但是你就好似識變魔術般﹐ 只用小於一個月的時間就變成一隻 “羊” 。 實在百思不得其解。 我從來未見過其他狗比你喜歡食雪﹐只要我走近糧罃﹐你就知道我會做甚麼。 你就是這麼聰明。 比其他狗還要醒目﹐識得坐低﹐訓低﹐仲會扮死。 比好多其他狗本事﹐竟然可以做到 “醫生”。你竟然比我還早達到呢個目標。 你真係好叻。 所以我越想﹐就越覺得你是上帝派給我們一家的一份禮物。 是你令我家有好多歡樂愉快的時光﹐多謝你!

我常說自己多幸福。 因為有好多人愛我﹐關心我﹐照顧我﹐連你也毫無條件的愛護我。 由我中學開始﹐上大學﹐大學畢業﹐由香港返黎考MCAT﹐你都在我家。 我快樂﹐不快樂﹐都有你和我分享。 每當我坐在樓梯發呆﹐思考﹐煩惱的時候﹐你也會靜靜的行到我身邊坐下﹐然後用鼓勵的眼神望著我﹐就像對我說﹐ “不用擔心! 凡事都有解決的方法。” 冬天的時候﹐每晚當我拖著疲倦的身體會到我的房間﹐亮了我的房燈﹐都會看見你像剛剛睡醒般睡在我的床上。 我當然明白啦! 你一定知我怕冷﹐所以常常把床睡暖等我回來。 我懷念這段逝去的快樂時光﹐實在感激你陪了我家這短短的九年。 雖然你也有頑皮的時候﹐時常偷偷食一些對你有害的東西﹐可能因為偷食太多﹐所以身體漸漸邊差吧。

你堅強的撐著直到家姐回家陪你。 相信你到最後也有一段好時光吧。 到最後﹐家姐陪伴下﹐你安祥的離開﹐相信你不是太辛苦吧! 見你離開時沒有痛苦﹐我也各得安慰。 在此希望你原諒我。 到最後一刻﹐我都不能在你身邊陪伴你﹐相信你多少也不高興吧! 對不起! 是我背叛了你。 我選擇留在外地﹐不能陪你走你生命的最後﹐相信是我一生的遺憾。 但是希望你會原諒我﹐可以嗎? 同時希望你會明白呢封信的思念。 當我知道你已回天家﹐我靜靜的向你道別。 記住啦! 到了天家﹐要好好守規矩。 不要再做錯事。 好好幫我同我家看守在天上的家﹐學習打理葡萄園。 將來終有一天﹐我們回到天家﹐大家便可以再見。 我承諾我會好好的疼你。你餓﹐我會給你糧食。 你悶﹐我會陪你玩。 你倦﹐我會陪你休息。 你的毛長了﹐我會好好把你清潔﹐剪毛﹐扮靚。到時可以一起種葡萄﹐然後用來釀酒供應愛延﹐永遠快樂。

Boy Jai, 我會卦念你。 在這刻我十分懷念你在我的床上望著我﹐十分懷念你的體溫。 想到你如果可以再在我面前﹐給我機會好好撫摸你的臉﹐用手掃你的毛。 這刻﹐鼻子有點酸﹐眼有點水汪汪的。 最後﹐雖然你常常聽我唱歌﹐可能已經聽膩了。 但是我還是想最後一次送一首歌給你。

Tears in Heaven

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on.
‘cause I know I don’t belong, here in heaven’

Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way, through night and day,
‘cause I know I just can’t stay, here in heaven’

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees,
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please…

Beyond the door, there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more, tears in heaven

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on.
‘cause I know I don’t belong, here in heaven

多謝你﹐ Boy Jai (1998.10.05 ~ 2007.10.05), 天家再見