God's Fireworks

Boy jai's blog

I wrote something in this blog as well....

http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/boyjaichan

要面對的最大考驗

生死的離別真是我們在世要面對的最大考驗

What should I do?

I sometimes do think I am very useless.

Monday, I talked to my Director about my sick leave, she approved it verbally. I started to look for tickets. Wow!! so expensive.... Direct flight costs $16000- $17000 HK... All US flights are booked, couldn't find any flight ticket to TORONTO at all.

Tuesday, I was still searching for that, and end up I got a ticket to Vancouver and needed to stay one night and take the flight from Van to Tor the next day. Just bought it (Thank you my 4 Kau Fu for lending me the money) and then... my director told me "BOSS IS NOT HAPPY, I don't know if I can give you the permission or not"

What do you mean by PERMISSION.... ? May I have the PERMISSION by NOT being SICK?? May I live shorter by my BOSS is not happy to me?????

Anyway, it was miserable about getting this news. I was sitting in my cubic and didn't know what to do....

Wednesday, my Manager told me that director suggested that I should talk to the boss DIRECTLY!!!!! What the ....???? OK, guess what my feedback...?

Dad said, "Let me talk to him, "my daughter needs a break""....
Mom said, "Let me yell at him... either let you go, or your Dad will pay the rest..."
My brother said, "Let me prepare a resign letter for you..."
My grandma said, "Who cares, just go.... "
My 4 Kau Fu said, "Did you resign yet? What? just the sick leave? I thought you resigned...."

What should I do?

How to say Goodbye?

I went to Gym today. I went to Body balance class and the mY Stretch class. I would like to relax from the fact of Boy jai is going to leave me....

Body balance class was ok. I was mainly concentrating on my body, but the stretch class... I just couldn't do it anymore. I kept thinking about Boy Jai... I was very confused... frustrated on how to go back to Canada....

Would you tell me ... how should I go back?

How should I say Goodbye to Boy jai?
How should I take him to the VET and say Goodbye to him. I must make sure he "go to sleep" in my arm. I must make sure this burden shouldn't go to someone else but me. I am his mom. I am his family (not the only one)...

Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE who be with me all these years. All ups and downs...
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE I treasure the most...
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE I claim he is a human but actually he is NOT.
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE I am afraid to drive him to the "place" ...
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE that is going to leave me forever...

I am angry... I am directionless... I am going nowhere...

Here I am to Worship

"Here I Am To Worship"

Light of the world, You step down into darkness.
Opened my eyes let me see.
beauty that made this heart adore you hope of a life spent with you.

[Chorus]
And here I am to worship,
here I am to bow down,
here I am to say that you're my God,
you're altogether lovely,
altogether worthy,altogether wonderful to me.

King of all days,oh so highly exalted Glorious in heaven above.
Humbly you came to the earth you created.All for love's sake became poor.

[Chorus]
here I am to worship,
here I am to bow down,
here I am to say that you're my God,
you're altogether lovely,altogether worthy,altogether wonderful to me.

I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
And I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
No I'll never know how much it cost to se my sin upon that cross.

[Chorus]
Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that you're my God,
You're altogether lovely,Altogether worthy,Altogether wonderful to me.

So Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that you're my God,
You're altoughter lovely, Althogether worthy, Altogether wonderful to me...

I am bowing down....

Thank you.

Thank you...

I don't know what else I can say to you all.

After you know what happened, you guys keep calling me, emailing me, msning me about how to help me financially, physcially, and mentally. Thank you. I know how much GOD loves me. I really know.

Financially, yeah... I honestly tell you that I do have major problem. But I don't want to use my family money... I know they won't need me to pay them back. I feel bad that they have to go through the things with me. That is why I am looking for someone who can help me on that. I may not be able to pay back right the way... but thank you for offering your help to me. I am very appreciated it.

Physically, yeah... I am breaking down. 1st bcoz of my own health. I really need to BIG tune up. I really need a long annual check up. That is why I am planning to do it in Canada. OHIP, thank you to Ontario Government.

Mentally, I keep telling myself that I shouldn't think negative but positive. Please pray for me. Please sending me positive energy. I know I am running out my positive energy. Drainning out soon.

My dear friends, I believe God is carrying my family and me. I am not afraid to face the truth, but please pray for me. When you are be with me, you don't need to find something to make me smile or happy... just be with me...and I will be ok. Thank you.

You are my angels.

Lymphoma

Do you know what is Lymphoma?

Lymphoma is a kind of cancer that effects lymphatic system. It happens when white blood cell becoming abnormal and the cell divides again and again. As a result, making more and more abnormal cells. The cells can spread to almost any other part of the body.
This kind of Lymphoma is only one of the kinds. It can cause many symptoms, such as:
Swollen, painless lymph nodes in the neck, armpits or groin; unexplained weight loss; fever; soaking night sweats; coughing, trouble breathing or chest pain; weakness and tiredness that don't go away; and pain, swelling or feeling of fullness in the abdomen.

You may wonder why I put it up. It is very simple. Boy jai found to have it. This time, I don't cry. Actually, I don't know how to cry. I mean... I am forcing myself to find a happy way to accept this fact. I really don't know what to do, but pray that God will let me handle it right and not sad.
Do you understand how I feel? I bet you don't. I am losing my son. The one cried with me when Granduncle 5 passed away. He went to hospital with me that night when I zipped up the bag for Granduncle 5. I don't have money to go back to see Boy jai. I will do everything to go back to handle his last stage. Please pray for me.

Boy jai, I love you. I love you very much. You are my 1st son. I LOVE YOU. Mommy is coming back to see you. Wait for me...

boy jai.... DON"T LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mommy is coming back ... for you.. Mom is coming back.... I said, I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU LONELY ON YOUR LAST JOURNEY. TRUST ME! BELIEVE in ME! I LOVE YOU THE MOST!

繾綣《暗戀》．尋覓心中《桃花源》

I already bought this ticket. Aug 11...

Louisa and Chan will be the MAIN characters. Looking forward to it! They are very very nice and I really like them. =)

I still remembered that I didn't know Chan was Ah Sa's bf, He was wearing backpack and walking out from hotel with Ah Sa... Very different style and different feeling. They are very husband and wife feeling to me. It was the good feeling though.

After I came back to Hong Kong, I talked to Ah Sa once, she thought me how to live in Hong Kong. That was so nice of her to do so. I thanked God that I knew her even outside of the theatre. I understand that everyone should have the bad side, just I believe this big sister and big brother are human too and need time to relief their feelings. Of coz, I hope it won't happen since they are both good temper and I want them to happy forever...

Looking forward to it. Best Wishes!!!!

蘇 玉 華 和 男 友 潘 燦 良 昨 日 以 情 侶 檔 身 份 到 中 環 出 席 「 繾 綣 《 暗 戀 》 ． 尋 覓 心 中 《 桃 花 源 》 」 展 覽 開 幕 ， 同 場 還 有 該 舞 台 劇 導 演 賴 聲 川 及 香 港 話 劇 團 藝 術 總 監 毛 俊 輝 ， 原 來 《 暗 戀 桃 花 源 》 會 同 時 有 兩 班 演 員 在 舞 台 上 演 出 悲 劇 和 喜 劇 ， 感 覺 十 分 新 鮮 ， 今 次 蘇 玉 華 和 男 友 會 首 度 正 式 合 作 演 出 。 (by Appledaily News July 13, 2007)

I am me!

I like to do whatever I want, why do you like to CHALLENGE me at all time?

I don't mind people give me instructions to do things, but need to respect me.

I am myself, I want to live my life. I don't want to go on the shadow of others. Would you mind live me alone... and let myself to learn to live on my own.....

I am so fed up.... I don't really want to lose myself...=)

I am very fed up....

Leave me alone!!!

Boy Jai found a tumor

Dear God,

Please guide me the way... I can't concentrate at work as I am worried about Boy jai too much. Please help me to decide. Or actually, show me the way you want me to go. I am afraid that I will get on the wrong path, just like last time. My heavenly father, I don't really want to take the wrong steps. Please guide me. I learned from my mistakes.

Thank you for giving me a chance to earn more money as Boy jai need money to do the surgery. Please help me. Please guide me...

I m praying in the name of Jesus Christ. ~Amen

My Love Will Get You Home (One of the good songs)

I always want to sing this to you, would you listen?


If you wonder off too far
My love will get you home
If you follow the wrong star
My love will get your home
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home
Boy, my love will get you home

If the bright lights blinds your eyes
My love will get you home
If your trouble break your stride
My love will get you home
If you never find yourself, lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home
Boy, my love will get you home

If you ever feel ashame
My love will get you home
If its only you to blame
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home
Boy, my love will get you home....

Vagina Monologues in HK July 11 2007

I went to a Drama call "The Vagina Monologues"

Different ways for Vagina to speak up. Actually, it is a very BRAVE Topic to discuss and to do it. Vagina itself is not scary, but people always put it relates to SEX. But do they ever think of Vagina is one of the GREATEST part of human nature. Natural Born babies all comes from this body part. Don't feel ashame when we talk about it. Like what the introduction mention, we need to understand ourselves in order to love ourselves. I want to LOVE myself more... Am I ready?

I copied the following from "http://www.perrychiu.com/01_synopsis.php"

女人要愛自己，就必須從身體的最私密處認識自己、瞭解自己、看見自己。
一段不求真愛只求一夜歡愉的女性獨白﹔一段歌頌愛情的女性獨白﹔一段充滿背叛憎恨的女性獨白﹔一段遭受性侵犯後劫後餘生的女性獨白﹔一段關係糾纏不清但欲斷難斷的女性獨白﹔一段生產時的女性獨白…
透過訪問超過二百位女性有關性、身體、陰道以及暴力的題目後，此劇將女性經驗中的神秘、幽默、痛苦、希冀、憤慨及歡悅的多樣化心聲，以認真、寫實而又生動有趣的獨白形式赤裸裸表達出來，呈現出不同年齡、種族、階層、性取向的女性個體差異經驗，並對「陰道」這個名詞進行重新詮釋及定位，引領觀眾感受陰道與愛、與性及人生的奇妙締合之存在及意義。
《霑叔遺願：以舞台劇形式在香港上演》
潔華教授，最近瑣事頗多，耽擱了覆信，請諒。
真正坐下來想你提供的問題，才發覺原來自己所知極少，只能盡我目前知道的奉上，其他容後再搜羅補足。
(A) VAGINA.
陰戶
陰
女陰
陰道
雞雞
妹妹(衍生為「姐姐」、「阿姨」)
度
屄 (上海話，B音，粵人亦漸用此字 )
罅
窿
肺 (這真實是「塊」切音而成的代詞，又衍成「化」)
(這是由「肺」衍生出來的)
牡 (本是屁股，但似乎已經由后而前了)
吉品(字花三十六方人中此為女陰。乾鮑魚中一類別。疑由此而借用為女性生殖器代詞)
女生殖器
子宮 (此字為OVARY，但問過幾位青年，似乎已把此詞與「」同等，也許“藝穗會”上次製作用此譯，亦與此有關。)
(B) VAGINA MOTHERFUCKER
此詞根本譯無可譯。只能代。 美國與中國文化不同。此詞本意是其人與母通姦亂倫，因此品格之粗鄙低下，已至極點，但今日用之作口頭慣用語的，已經少如原意，所以只宜以「罵人語」看待。
罵人語，我能提供的，是
死仆街
臭
家剷
死
(「」與作屌)
佢老母臭
爛契弟
屎忽友 (鬼)
我看不如暫選其中之一(我傾向選6)，然後附譯者注，盼加解釋中西語言習慣。原作者大概有紐約華人朋友，而看來她會相當信任這些無壓力或責任的意見，所以在 寫 Translator's note 的時候，不妨略詳盡，以免日後多事。
再談，祝
聖誕快樂
黃霑執手二OOO、十二、十九、夜

Drop me a comment

I really like to write my blog today.... but I guess.... things are very heated lately...

For those who wants to know me.... Please let me know what do you think about me?

What kind of person I am for you?
What kind of person do you think am I?

I want to know. I really want to know.

Come on... just drop me some comments... ok? I believe this is one of the blog that is so clean.... NO COMMENT at all!!!

You got to see this

I don't know what it's about... but I think I know what he wrote in there.
Please support MATT... one of the talent guys I ever met!!

Autograph sessions are 19th and 22nd in Book Fair. However, I will be there. will you? The time should be 14:00- 15:00

If you have time, please go to SUPPORT!!!! MATT, I SUPPORT YOU!

I know I am not alone... Thank you, My Lord.

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me a lot of supports when I am not happy. Please take care of my heart. I am very weak at this moment. I am very lost at this moment. When I am down, you give me brothers and sisters to support me. MILLION THANKS!

My Cousin told me this:
"You know You are lucky that you can walk, talk, see, smell, eat and laugh;
You know You are lucky that you are not a poor."

My Friends told me this:
"失望不能絕望"
"朋友仔沒有幾個幾個 敵人很多 少一個不算少 多一個都太多..."

Thank you very much, My dear God. When I am down, there are so many angels you sent me and let me NOT being alone. Thank you very much for giving me a professional DADDY. He takes care of me very good very much. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express myself on here when I don't know how to do in person.

My Lord, please do guide me to the way I should be. Please take me to where you want me to be. I am scared to be alone, but I know you will be with me. I love you, my LORD. Please don't give me up. Please protect me. I understand you let me go out to have FUN, and let me learn the bad stuffs, but I understand what is the limit. Please forgive me for doing bad stuffs.

I love you Lord, please let my friends understand why I love you so much. Please let my friends share this joy with you.

I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ. ~Amen.

Zoolander

I took it when I was thinking Ben Silter... hehehee! Zoolander... This is how Model would do to their face.

I can't do it, bcoz it is just not me.

I like natural look. Of coz, I am too photogenic... or... I will not have comments such as "Wow! Percy, you look prettier in photo than in real life"... aahahaha!! I don't mind... At least I have a period of time of being pretty in my life.

I like my hair too. I started to have different colour on my head since Highschool. Just bcoz of Sarah, Anita, and Carrie. I am wondering where they are... I miss them... Look at my hair... again... it is layer red. Next time, I should do ORANGE. I like ORANGE better
I always have a mirror in front of me. Not really like to look at myself... but I remember someone tells me that REMEMBER to behave yourself. Your face shows how you think and how you react to people. I need to SMILE at all time. I need to be happy at all time, and of coz, I need to be nice at all time!!!

Fellowship Outing

June 30 - July 1 2007. One of the best way for me to celebrate JULY 1 in HK... I determined that I should went somewhere away from the city. Heheheehe!! Yeah, I went to Camping.

I don't even know where I went, but good enough for me to refresh myself.

June 30 2:30pm met the group at Tai Po Train Station, took bus from there to "Tai Mei Tuk". I don't even remember what the name of the campsite. It was not bad comparing to some in Canada. It is very modern already. Thanked God that I had a chance to back to NATURE.

Let me introduce some friends from my Cell group to you.

This is Elvis, "Ko lo", he is really tall (6'3?) !! He is like a BIG Brother to me. Thank you very much. Too bad Mona (His wife) was not feeling well and didn't come to camping, I didn't have a chance to take picture with Mona yet. I miss you, Mona, hope you feel better.

I always believe that God has his plan on me. She is Betty. She is not in my cell group, but we just bump to each other and start to chat. She is like a REAL sister to me. At least I feel very comfy when I talk to her. Plus, other brothers and sisters keep telling me that we look alike. Poor her... look like me... hahaaha!

This is the dinner from a resturant closed to Campsite. Actually the Food was not bad, but most of them didn't like the food. I don't mind. The worse I had been taste before and I am sure they never have a chance to eat the worse I tasted before.

This is Royce, She is 1/16 or 1/32 mixed. Can't you tell? Honestly, not that I can... but she has natural cure hair... hahahaa!! She is in my cell group.






Just staying one night actually couldn't do much. But I enjoyed it even it was SHORT!



Along the Dam, we saw the clouds were coming after us. Also the MOUNTAIN. That was the Mountain years ago the teachers were killed from the FIRE when saving their students.

Started to rain
I just really like to sit along the dam....and look at the water... This is me.

I want to be a GOOD counselor

12 Qualities of a Godly Counselor:

1. A person who genuinely cares. Does the person whomyou seek counsel genuinely cares about you? Are youallowed freely or able to emotionally unlock yourselfwhen you share with this person?
2. A good listener. Is the person able to activelylisten to what you have to share without formingjudgement right away?
3. Ability to respond positively, focussing on thegoodness of God. Are you comfortable to be vunerablebefore the person, willing to take that risk to beopen to him/her? Knowing that you will be safe, withwhat you share to the person, despite, thevunerability.
4. A spiritually mature individual. Does the personhave that spiritual maturity, without hidden agendas?
5. Available to observe your lifestyle. Is the personwilling to speak God's truths into your life, not withwhat you want to hear, but what you need to hear andknow..? Is he/she willing to coach you in taking stepsto change for the better, rather than just flatteringyou..? Directing you closer to God..
6. A person who asks the right questions. Is theperson able to ask crucial questions that would directyou to draw closer to God? Asking questions that wouldinstigate the truths and that would aultimately, leadto greater growth and development.
7. A non-judgemental/ critical person. Is the personwilling to hear the truth, listen, help you deal withyour weaknesses, help to provide some accountabilityfor your actions, and still loves you unconditionallyas God loves you..?
8. A person who focuses on the Kingdom of God. Has theperson think through clearly before giving counsel toyou? Has the person think about the impact of his/herwords to the people around you before speaking to you,only to lead you closer to God..?
9. A wise and understanding counselor. Has the personbeen seeking Godly wisdom from God? Applying God'sWords through knowledge and revelations. .
10. Ability to outline your responsibilities. Does theperson able to provide framework and guidelines toshow you, your personal responsibilities towards theoverall outcome of your situation? Through the counselof that person, can you see your share ofresponsibilities and how you can achieve them?
11. Ability to teach interpersonal skills. Is he/sheable to teach you to build bridges and stay connectedto others, rather than isolation and teachingco-dependence on others..?
12. Ability to speak God's Word into your life. Is the person able to live by the Word of God? Is he/she ableto use God's Words to encourage and challenge you togrow spirtually and develop to become the man andwoman of God's intent..?Moses had a very wise father-in-law, Jethro, whoprovided Godly counsel that Moses needed at a time.Exodus 18:1-17, recorded an account of how Moses cameto Jethro for Godly counsel when he visited Moses,with his daughter and grandsons. Jethro became a goodexample of a wise Godly counselor that God had broughtabout, in Moses life.

As a result, it had such greatimpact, not only in Moses decisions making in thefuture, but also in the lives of the Israelites. Doyou have someone whom you can seek Godly counsel to?Count it all blessings that God has placed thesepeople in your life..

The day after July 1

I was going to spend my holiday on my own or on my free will... End up ... *sigh*...

Dad got a group of friends to play MJ with him at home.
King went out with his friends after drop off mom to me.
Mom got nothing to do except getting me out to shop with her.
Dai Yee wanted to talk to me...

I slept early last night but got up early as well. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to sleep more, but end up my body clock woke me up around 6:30am. Automatically, I turned on my radio and I also turned on my MSN (Mobile). Well, "he" was on again. He is one of my new firend, but I don't really like to talk to him, I know he has his purpose to approach me. I mean I like to be nice to this friend, but not in the bad way. You know me and you will understand what I mean. What a pity that he has to find friend like me online. However, I don't mind to be his friend. As long as he is not going harm me or anything.

What is wrong with me?? I just want to find someone to talk to... find someone to take care of me... How hard is it??

I keep asking myself, I am not that bad, but how come being single is that hard for me? Am I giving myself too high standard? *hummm* I told me that he told a lie to me... I accepted his apology, but he felt so bad. Haahaa@! no hard feeling. I am just his friend, he doesn't need to so true to me. hahahaa!

Anyway, went to Pilates and Yoga for 2 hours.... So hard.... =)

Then met Dai Yee to have Sushi *sigh*... shouldn't eat carbonhydrate... but... better do it eoday.... heheheheee!! Reduce Carbonhydrate ..... CUT it.... I will I will cut it down..

Mentally is tired, but Physically I am still ok. hehehee!!

Percy