Letter to God

Dear God,

Thank you for telling me again how closed you are to me. please forgive me by not giving too much time to you. I am happy that I am having your love in me.

I was so happy today. I had enough energy to get up and went to church. I was glad that I didn't miss the sermon. Once again, "Emmanuel"!

I was getting tired after lunch. I didn't really want to have Sushi today, but Mom insisted to have it for lunch. Really filled me up. Once again, I felt how lucky I was. I was able to eat the luxury food I could afforded.

I went to supermarket with mom. I hadn't do this with her for a long time. I picked up the feeling and I really like that feeling to be with her. You know what? I had changed me a lot in my life. I still remembered the time I went to that supermarket. I was with Jason. We had so much memories there, and I eventually changed those painful memories into good memories. I could really put that relationship aside finally. Thank you, my Lord.

Benny went to my house. He had a nap at my house. Glad to have him during dinner time. I didn't really like eat with mom alone. Nothing I can talked to mom, good to have someone else at the table.

Please open his heart and let him understand how much you love him. He is one of my good friends and I really want to share your love with him. Please lead him to you. I don't really know what else I should do beside praying for him to you. My Lord, please listen to his heart. I am sure he is not mad at you, or angry at you, but he is confused. He doesn't understand the Love of GOD.

Thank you for taking care King and Dad in HK. Please protect them as always and please protect Edcon from the sins as well. I also put my career on your hand. I am not sure where/ what I should go/do. I don't know your plan, please let me know. Please show it to me. I am very lost. If you already showed me. Please let me know again. I might missed it or I just ignored it. Please forgive how careless I am, and I don't want to make the wrong choice. Please guide me the way to you.

I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ.... ~Amen.

I never think that is the matter, but I think it does. I start to care about who I call and who will call me. I think one of the reasons I feel lonely is that I am waiting for my friends to call me. Thinking about who will think of me and call me.

I have a lot of phone numbers in my phone list, but I only pick a few to call the most. I feel more comfortable to talk to those people, to be around with them than the rest of others. I forget when I stop calling them and wait for their calls. Let me tell you, it is not a fun game. I don't rely on this game to judge my friendships with them, but I do hope to receive their calls everyday. I am afraid being lonely.

Believe it or not, just before I came back to write this, I was being myself in "Go For Tea". That was not possible, because I hate being alone around the crowds. When everyone were so happy to chit chat and I was sitting at the table alone. I didn't like that feeling.

I really hope you will call me. Just to say HI or ask how my day is. Please not to give me those "I don't care" tone. If you treat me as your friend, please treat me what you want your friends treat you. We may have different standard of friendships. I am sure that things go well between us because GOD gave us the chance to meet, to become friends, and the most important, HE gave us the comfortable feeling to share our stories. Then why do we waste what GOD gave us? Please give me a call even it is nothing to chat about it. I don't want to be hopeless.

I do have a lot of comfortable friends, but talking about sharing. You are one of a few. You know who you are. =) Thank you for being a good friend to me. I will treasure the friendship and you.

It was hard day for me. President asked me to go to her office and "kind of" screamed at me by not making things accurate. I guessed that I should take the responsibilities for that. I tried to be as precised as possible, but things just didn't go too well.

I still remembered Dad used to say that I was careless. Dad was right. However, when I looked at my president, she was mad. I saw her face and she wanted to yell at me. I didn't look at her because I was really scared. I went back to my cubic and started to work. I didn't have time to eat and I actualy wasn't feel hungry.

I was re-thinking why I was there. Would I just quit and get a better job? But then I thought just a little "scream" from boss. I should be ok. I should be handled it well.

Busy and busy and very busy afterward. .... tired... time to take a nap.

Percy

Would you care if I leave without saying a word?

愛上了 看見你 如何不懂謙卑 去講心中理想
不會俗氣 猶如看得見晨曦 才能歡天喜地
抱著你 我每次 回來多少驚喜 也許一生太短
陪著你 情感有若行李 仍然沉重待我整理
* 天氣不似如期 但要走 總要飛
道別不可再等你 不管有沒有機
給我體貼入微 但你手 如明日便要遠離
願你可以 留下共我曾愉快的憶記 當世事再沒完美
可遠在歲月如歌中找你

* 再見了 背向你 回頭多少傷悲
也許不必再講 所有道理 何時放鬆我自己
才能花天酒地 抱著你 我說過 如何一起高飛
這天只想帶走 還是你 如重溫往日郵寄
但會否疲倦了嬉戲 Repeat *

I can't believe what I did

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me strength to tell him that I like him. Thank you for telling me how much he treasures me as his friend. Chris asked me not to afraid to tell you how much I like him. yeah... I like him a lot, but I don't know how to handle it. He doesn't like me and the most important thing: he is not a Christian. I knew it since I started to like him. Dear Lord, please forgive me to have feeling on him even I know I am not supposed to. Please forgive me, Lord.

My heavenly father, I really don't know how much I can do in order to handle the friendship with him. I am sure he wants to keep the friendship, but I don't think I can treat him normal from now. Dear Lord, please do help me! I don't know how to handle the mental part. I do like him a lot, but I really don't want to be hurt!!!!! Please Lord, protect me. I really don't know how to take it easy. Please forgive me being stubborn.

He is a good guy, he cares me a lot... but it seems like everything different from now.... It seems like I ruined the whole thing, did I? I am praying in the name of Jesus Christ, ~Amen.