Bad Habbits

Today is another brand new day, but I don't have a good start.

I got up from the nightmare. I forgot what I dreamed, but it really bothered me as I didn't remembered what made me sweated so much.

I am in fear bcoz the problems keep coming back again and again. I am trying to find a way out to solve it or improve my disability, but end up it goes back to the original point. I love what I do, but I claim myself not very perfect to fit it. I always forget things. Things are important, prioritized, and cannot be forgotten. I know I have a bad memory, so I write down things I need to know, and need to remember. At the end, I don't remember where I wrote it down...

I am in fear bcoz it seems like I am stuck in the same point again and again. People ask me to focus. I do my best to focus, but can't do so... I don't know why? People ask me to stay as close as with GOD, I do. But not that I can focus on it neither.

Am I that bad person to live in this society? I don't know how to change these "so called" bad habbits: can't focus, always forget things, not details enough...

I know GOD can help me... I am seeking for HELP! It stresses me out pretty much. I am still on my pills, should I increase it? or stay on the same dosage?

God, Please help me as I start to cry automatically again...