It's time

Last friday (Sept 28th) I took Boy jai and Cookie to the off leash park. There were so many dogs running around.

Boy jai choose not to run but walk with me. I asked him walk around by himself. He listened. He really does listened. I left him and I walked towards the shelter, I turned around and I saw him looked at him sit down and seemed like asking for help. He didn't scream nor call out for help. He knew I would come to him. I ran to him and asked him what happened. He looked at him sliently and didn't bark or a word. He just looked at me.

I lifted his back up and he started to walk with me to the shelter, very very slow... very slow...

This morning, Ka Ho left home to work. I heard the barking while I was sleeping. I thought I had a dream or something; I heard the barking again. I knew it was Boy jai's. I called Boy jai, no foot steps or anything; I called again, I heard the barking, I started to search the house non-sensely, I lost the dog?? I lost the dog at home? what the....?

I turned on all the light, and I searched the house. After looking for different area, and I still couldn't find Boy jai. I thought Ka Ho left him outside, and I looked the direction of patio door. I saw the shadow of Boy jai. "Ah! Ka Ho left him outside?" When I walked closed to the patio door, I saw Boy jai was actually INSIDE, with both leg split open lied down on his belly position. I saw a lot of dog posted like this, but I never Boy jai did that in his life. Something went wrong... something went very very wrong....

I lifted up Boy jai's back, and opened the door for him. I realized that he had no power on his rear legs. Something I crossed my mind..."It's time?"

He came back up from the backyard, it seems like he put a lot of efforts to go down those stairs and he was being lazy to walk back up.

Vet told me, when his time is up I would know... I asked the vet how would I know, she said "If I love him enough, I would know..."

I think it really his time up and I really think I have to learn how to let go. Friends, would you support me? I am crying and I am directionless.

Dear God, please walk with me. please walk this road together. I don't need you to carry me. I have to learn how to face the truth. please take all the pain from Boy jai. Please let him be one of the most luckiest dog in the world.