You may think I am so freaking "LONG AIR". To be honest.... I am.
Boy jai already gone for 2 months. I mean... he is not physically with us for 2 months. I thought I already got used to it. I thought I wouldn't cry bcoz of him... but... once again... I found the following:
11月3日
回應
阿哥:
當我看完你給朋友的信﹐我應該說不用傷心﹐將來大家一定會再見。。不是你的自私﹐也不需要自責。。看完信後在我腦海浮現出來的影像就是他﹐每個唔同既容貌﹐動作都浮現出來。我好想同大家分享我的經歷。
Dear bro,
I should say "No Worry" to you after I read your "Letter to my friends". We must see each other for sure. It was not about selfishness, please not to angry at yourself. After I read your blog, I only had his faces, his images and actions popped into my head. I would like to share this with you and the rest.
在書房睡了差不多有一個月﹐終於有一天晚上﹐我特然在夢裡再次看見到他﹐沒有特別的事情﹐亦都沒有靈驗的現像。只是一個普普通通的夢境﹐但是﹐在夢裡我手拿著拖帶﹐和平時一樣陪他到公園去﹐後來解開了拖帶﹐放他任意地跑﹐任意地走﹐正當我看到他越走越遠的時候﹐叫他一次﹐回頭望﹐第二次﹐回頭望後坐下﹐當我想走到他的面前﹐他又再次走了﹐當我跑去追他﹐叫著他的名字﹐追著﹐但是我跑了很久﹐因為雙方距離太遠﹐老是追不到﹐那時我就醒了。。
It was almost a month that I slept in the study den. Finally, I dreamed of him. There was no special things, nor spiritual story happened. It was just a regular dream. In the dream, I was holding the leash peacefully walking with him to the off leash park. Once we arrived the park, I let him go and he ran around and around. When I saw him ran too far away, I called him name. He stopped and looked at me and then kept going. I called him again, he stopped and sat down. While I walked towards him, he ran away, just like he was playing games with me. I was chasing him, called his name, ran after him, but I couldn't get him. Our distance was too far away, finally I woke up.
感覺到不憤的我醒來﹐看看鬧鐘~三點半!!明天要返工!!好快就令自己再次睡著﹐想想自己應該可以加快地跑﹐再次追上﹐覺得自己應該可以找回他﹐也可以知道他去到那裡。。在夢中﹐我見到他﹐捉到了﹐同我看見他那口乾的樣子﹐手拿著水撙﹐但不知道為甚嚒會有乾糧同藥物在袋裡。。特然﹐有位白人路過﹐叫我給他飲完水後﹐休息一會兒﹐就把他放鏈﹐放手。。給他跑﹐向前面的直路跑﹐最後看到他和那白人一起走了﹐向前面的直路跑﹐我看到他有回頭﹐望過我﹐就好像我每天開車前﹐返工前同他說再見﹐吻一下的吻別感覺一樣。
I looked at the alarm clock. It was 3:30am, I needed to work in the morning so I forced myself to sleep again. The dream continused, I tried to chase him again, This time I got him, he looked like very thirsty, my hand held the water bottle and also some dry food and some medication. There was a white man walked by, HE asked me to give boy jai some water, let him rest and unleash him, let him run. Eventually, he caught up with that WHITE man and they walked together. Boy jai kept walking forward, he turned around and looked at me. His face was like daily look when I kissed him goodbye to work.
感覺真的很難受﹐真的很難受﹐好似好唔捨得的﹐但是我知道有那位白人陪著﹐他一定不會迷路﹐將來一定會再見﹐在最後一次手術抬上見面﹐我以經同他發下誠諾﹐而我自己還是覺得自己家裡的書房是他常常到的地方﹐應該會可以再次夢見或聽到他的聲音﹐近況。。。當時候到了﹐他會回來﹐和那白人一樣接我到他的樂園﹐那時一定會很開心﹐但是一定會很忙﹐我一定會留在他的身邊。我唔會再需要工作﹐唔需要返工﹐放工。。唔需要去開會﹐見客。。我一定會陪你﹐做一些我好耐無做的﹐例如洗澡﹐梳毛﹐行街﹐玩捉迷藏﹐唔會再帶你去何主任﹐或醫生到﹐因為我會全時間陪你﹐照顧你。。
It was so hard for me to let him go, unless I knew he was with the WHITE man, so he would not get lost. I promised him when he lied on the surgery bed, I would meet him again. After he was gone, I loved to stay in the study den bcoz I wished I could dream or listen his voice. When the time came, he would be back to pick me up and took me to the garden he prepared with the WHITE man. I would be so happy and would be so busy with him. Too busy to be with you without boring rountine work. He didn't need to go to see Dr, or groomers, bcoz I would full time be with you and take care of you.
但是有時我覺得好無耐﹐我知道你每一刻在上都看到我門一家人﹐但是我真的忍了很久﹐但是最後都比你在彩虹橋望到我哭泣既樣子﹐不想說出口的﹐但是我真係好掛住你﹐有時唔想返屋企﹐唔想洗衫﹐因為唔知道如果再見到你﹐真的不知道應不應該再次比你走開﹐比你再次離開。。
我從覺得自己有錯﹐如果當天我遲多一點返工﹐那我就可以帶你去醫生到﹐可能還會有救也不定。。
你要記得你和我的誠諾﹐如果我時候到了﹐你要回來接我﹐我不會理會其他人的﹐你現在要為我一家人探路﹐然後回來陪我門一起再走過﹐你誠諾的﹐記住要做。。我相信那白人和你現在一定很開心。。玩時玩﹐有時候如果經過屋企﹐記住入黎探我﹐我知道COOKIES 同大家見到你一定會好開心﹐那時我門會準備一切﹐我必答謝你的白人朋友﹐預備豐富晚餐等你回來!!!
Sorry, I can't translate it anymore... I am very emotion right now.
I finally found out one of the reasons why Ka Ho stayed in the Study den for a month. I thank God that I have 2 lovely brothers who love BOY JAI so much. Thank you, bro!
No comments:
Post a Comment