How to say Goodbye?

I went to Gym today. I went to Body balance class and the mY Stretch class. I would like to relax from the fact of Boy jai is going to leave me....

Body balance class was ok. I was mainly concentrating on my body, but the stretch class... I just couldn't do it anymore. I kept thinking about Boy Jai... I was very confused... frustrated on how to go back to Canada....

Would you tell me ... how should I go back?

How should I say Goodbye to Boy jai?
How should I take him to the VET and say Goodbye to him. I must make sure he "go to sleep" in my arm. I must make sure this burden shouldn't go to someone else but me. I am his mom. I am his family (not the only one)...

Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE who be with me all these years. All ups and downs...
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE I treasure the most...
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE I claim he is a human but actually he is NOT.
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE I am afraid to drive him to the "place" ...
Tell me how to say Goodbye to a LIFE that is going to leave me forever...

I am angry... I am directionless... I am going nowhere...